Magazine

A tired dad looking at a smartphone screen in horror while holding a teether

Why Searching For loser baby lyrics Is A Parenting Trap

My mother-in-law insisted I needed to pipe classical symphonies into the nursery to raise certified geniuses, the bloke who makes my flat whites swore by 90s West Coast hip-hop to build 'rhythmic resilience', and my NHS health visitor gently suggested...

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Toddler looking confused at a tablet playing pop music videos

Why "Yes Baby Madison Beer" Is Not A Sleep Training Guide

The biggest lie we tell ourselves as modern parents is that the internet’s search bar is a safe space so long as it contains the word "baby." I learned this the hard way last Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the edge...

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A safe nursery setup featuring a padded leather playmat on the floor

That Viral Baby Catch Video Is Fake But Gravity Is Very Real

I was three hours deep into a TikTok scrolling paralysis on the nursery glider when I saw it. My toddler had finally surrendered to sleep, his breath doing that weird, uneven newborn rattle, and my screen was flashing a story...

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An exhausted dad holding an iPad away from a frustrated kid while a baby crawls nearby.

How to Get Baby Nessie in Fisch (Without Ruining Your Weekend)

My living room currently sounds like a server room during a distributed denial-of-service attack, except the alarms are just my wife's nine-year-old nephew, Leo, aggressively clicking a mouse, while my eleven-month-old daughter aggressively hits a wooden block against the coffee...

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Confused mom holding a coffee cup looking at a bunch of bright green dinosaur toys and colorful baby building blocks.

The Truth About the Digital Dinosaur Taking Over My Living Room

It's 6:15 AM on a Tuesday. I'm standing in the kitchen wearing Dave's old college sweatpantsβ€”the grey ones with a literal hole in the left kneeβ€”and holding my third cup of coffee, which is already lukewarm. Leo, my four-year-old, is...

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Toddler trying to climb over a wooden baby gate in a living room

The Boss Baby Escape Movie Mix-Up: A Parent Warning

I dropped a whole laundry basket of clean, perfectly folded towels directly onto the kitchen floor last Tuesday. My five-year-oldβ€”who's honestly the reason I've premature gray hair and a caffeine dependencyβ€”had grabbed the iPad and yelled that he was searching...

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Frustrated mom holding a video game controller while a toddler plays on a wooden play mat

The Truth About That "Baby Steps" Video Game (Spoiler: It's Not For...

My mom swears that whatever video games my six-year-old nephew plays are totally fine for my three under five as long as I just cover their little eyes during the scary parts. My sister, bless her heart, thinks any screen...

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Toddler holding a wooden toy donkey next to a blurred tablet screen

That Viral Donkey Game Is Ruining My Search History

I was pumping at three in the morning in my dark Chicago apartment, half-asleep, trying to find a specific wooden animal push-toy my mother-in-law swore was the secret to getting my toddler to walk. I typed what I thought was...

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Toddler wearing a flutter sleeve bodysuit exploring a backyard garden safely

My Toddler Found a Baby Snake: The Ultimate Backyard Meltdown

Tuesday morning, 8:14 AM. I was wearing Dave’s gross gray sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the mystery bleach stain near the left knee that he absolutely refuses to throw awayβ€”and balancing my third, heavily microwaved mug of coffee on my hip. Leo,...

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