Magazine

Portland dad holding an eleven-month-old baby otter in a community swimming pool wrapped in a towel.

Debugging Infant Water Safety and the Sea Otter Parenting Method

I'm currently losing a wrestling match with a wet, angry noodle on a bench that smells aggressively of bleach. My eleven-month-old son has somehow managed to triple his body weight purely through the physics of being slippery, and the acoustic...

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The truth about surviving the baby groot merchandise invasion

I was elbow-deep under the sofa cushions on a Tuesday morning, executing a routine sweep for rogue Cheerios and whatever sticky substance had claimed the TV remote, when my fingers brushed against something hard, plastic, and distinctly anatomical. I pulled...

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A toddler with a front tooth gap wearing organic clothes while holding a silicone teether.

My Guide to Every Type of Gap Baby You Will Actually Encounter

I was sitting on the sticky linoleum floor of the Woodfield Mall family restroom when the reality of my life choices hit me. My toddler was screaming at a decibel level that usually triggers a code blue on a pediatric...

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Table set for a nature inspired baby gathering with a wooden play gym centerpiece

Surviving the Modern Baby Shower: Themes, Rules, and Absurdities

My mother-in-law insisted we needed a hired tea service with crustless cucumber sandwiches, my mate Paul told me to just book the back room at The Crown and put some crisps in a bowl, and an American lifestyle blog I...

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A pregnant woman looking slightly exhausted while shopping for a maternity party dress

The Chaotic Truth About Finding Brilliant Baby Shower Dresses

Dear Tom of six months prior to the twins' arrival. You're currently standing outside the changing rooms at a high-street maternity shop, holding a lukewarm flat white, waiting for Sarah to emerge. You've been here for forty-five minutes. You think...

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Neutral wooden baby shower decorations and a realistic balloon setup on a living room table.

The Truth About Baby Shower Decorations (And That Balloon Arch)

I was thirty-two weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting flat on my kitchen floor, and ugly-crying into a pile of deflated sage green balloons. My husband had just walked in from work, taken one look at me holding a dual-action...

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Two toddlers destroying a living room while holiday music plays in the background.

Let's discuss the absolute madness of those santa baby lyrics

It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in mid-December. The sky over London had been a bruised, miserable purple since lunchtime, and inside the flat, the twins were orchestrating what I can only describe as a coordinated assault on our...

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Marcus holding a baby and a bunch of spearmint leaves next to an organic cotton bodysuit

Spearmint for Babies: A Dad's Guide to Minty Leaves and Tiny Clothes

I'm currently standing in my kitchen holding a bundle of wet green leaves in one hand and my phone in the other, feeling completely paralyzed by data overload. My mother-in-law texted me yesterday saying I should rub spearmint oil directly...

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A VTech baby monitor screen showing a sleeping baby in a dark room.

The Great VTech Baby Monitor Experiment (A Dad's Honest Take)

I spent the first three months of my twin daughters’ lives doing exactly what you shouldn’t do: I bought a terrifyingly cheap, unbranded camera off the internet that broadcasted grainy, unencrypted footage of my children directly to, presumably, a server...

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