What a Baby Cheetah Taught Me About My Own Crawling Toddler
We were standing in front of the big cat enclosure at the Bronx Zoo last Tuesday. I was wearing my aggressively stained Lululemon leggings, holding a lukewarm cup of drip coffee that tasted faintly of pennies, while Leoβwho's four going...
The 2 AM Baby Benadryl Panic and What I Actually Did Instead
It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in February. The wind off Lake Michigan is rattling the windowpanes of our Chicago apartment, and my toddler is sitting on the bathroom counter looking like a lightly boiled lobster. We had tried a...
System Error: Why We Banned the Baby's Breath Flower at Home
My mother-in-law texted me four massive paragraphs about how Gypsophila represents everlasting love and is a hard requirement for the nursery design if we wanted to respect tradition. Three hours later, our Portland neighborβa guy who brews his own seasonal...
Chasing the Pottery Barn Baby Dream Without Losing Your Mind
When I was seven months pregnant with Maya, I was a walking target for unsolicited opinions. I remember my mother-in-law cornering me at my own shower, wearing this aggressively floral blouse, and insisting I needed to buy a massive, heavily...
Living With The Boss Baby: Sleep, Siblings, And Your Sanity
There's a massive, glittering lie floating around pregnancy message boards that newborns sleep eighteen hours a day, and I just need to laugh hysterically at that for a second. Picture me at 3:17 AM last Tuesday, standing on the cold...
Why Babydoll Dresses Are Secretly a Parent's Best Friend
Itβs ninety-five degrees in East Texas, and my mother-in-law is trying to shoehorn my oldest child into a stiff, tulle monstrosity that looks like a wedding cake exploded. My kid is screaming like a feral cat in a church pew....
The Backyard Fawn: A Guide To Not Kidnapping Wildlife
Listen, the first time you find a tiny, spotted woodland creature curled up next to your hostas, your brain short-circuits. You immediately assume the worst. You look at this fragile thing breathing shallowly in your mulch, and your mind goes...
Dear Exhausted Jess: The Baby Beluga Magic You Need Right Now
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're sobbing into a sour-smelling burp cloth right now. It's 3:14 AM. The baby is doing that rigid-plank scream that makes your own spine ache, the toddler is asleep in the hallway for some...
The Chaotic Truth About Finding Brilliant Baby Shower Dresses
Dear Tom of six months prior to the twins' arrival. You're currently standing outside the changing rooms at a high-street maternity shop, holding a lukewarm flat white, waiting for Sarah to emerge. You've been here for forty-five minutes. You think...