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Debugging the architectural nightmare of a newborn sweater set
Iβm currently staring at a tiny, cream-colored cable-knit tube of fabric. My wife Sarah is in the other room, and my son is lying on the changing table, doing that terrifying infant stiff-board maneuver where every muscle in his three-week-old...
The Great Onesie Lie and Why Newborn Long Sleeve T Shirts Win
I'm standing in the nursery, it's like 3:14 AM, I'm wearing a nursing bra that smells vaguely of sour milk and Dave's oversized college sweatpants, and I'm practically in tears over three tiny metal crotch snaps. Before you've a baby,...
The 3 AM Panic That Forced Us Into the Sleeping Bag Baby Phase
It was 2:14 AM and my oldest son, Beauβwho's now four and continues to be my living, breathing cautionary tale for literally everythingβwas screaming. Not his usual "I lost my pacifier" sleep-grunt. The kind of panicked scream that makes your...
Why toddler boy khaki shorts are a pediatric nightmare
The biggest lie the childrenswear industry ever sold us is that a two-year-old boy needs to dress like a miniature golf pro. You see it in every catalog. A tiny guy standing there in a polo shirt and rigid, flat-front...
The Truth About the Toy Blanket (And Why Your Baby Needs One)
My older cousin stared at the graying, spit-up-stained square of muslin clutched in my toddler's fist and let out a long, theatrical sigh. We were at a family dinner, and she felt the need to inform me that letting my...
How a Simple Ribbed Onesie Saved My Sanity During a 3 AM Blowout
It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm dealing with Diaper #284, and containment has been fully breached. The biohazard has traveled up my 11-month-old's spine, past his shoulder blades, and is currently threatening his neckline. I'm sweating through my t-shirt,...
The Real Deal With Infant Cotton Socks (And Why I Panicked at 3 AM)
Picture this. Itβs mid-July, seven years ago. I'm sitting in a sweltering hospital room wearing a stained gray nursing tank, sweating profusely, holding my two-day-old daughter, Maya. In walks my mother-in-law, who takes one look at Mayaβs tiny, slightly purple...
The Truth About Capri Leggings for Girls and Summer Knees
I was sitting in the back of my minivan in a Target parking lot last July, desperately trying to peel a pair of sweat-cemented, neon pink synthetic leggings off my screaming three-year-old, when I finally broke. The temperature in rural...
Why japan kidswear completely ruined me for normal baby clothes
When I was pregnant with Leo, I made the mistake of crowdsourcing clothing advice. My mother-in-law cornered me in a Target aisle to aggressively whisper that I should exclusively buy 12-month sizes for my unborn infant and just roll the...