Watching Movies Like Baby Driver When You Have Actual Babies
It's exactly 10:43 PM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing a faded nursing tank that lost all structural integrity sometime in 2021, and I'm sitting on the exact cushion of our IKEA sectional that smells faintly of old Cheerios and maternal...
Why Machine Gun Kelly's Co-Parenting Setup Is Oddly Inspiring
It was 3:14 in the morning, the Texas humidity was already sticking to the windowpanes like a wet blanket, and my middle childβlet's just call her Baby M for the sake of keeping some things privateβwas doing that terrifying back-arching...
The Truth About Raising Mega Babies When Standard Gear Fails You
I was standing in the fluorescent-lit hospital room, still completely numb from the waist down, watching my husband try to wrestle our firstborn into a "newborn" sized coming-home outfit that we had paid entirely too much for on Etsy. My...
What Is The Matter Baby? Surviving The 3 AM Newborn Panic Mode
Itβs 3:17 AM, and I'm standing in the middle of a nursery that smells vaguely of sour milk and desperation, bouncing my oldest son so hard Iβm giving myself shin splints. He is wailing like a banshee. My husband walks...
The Love Is Blind Megan Baby Drama Actually Makes Complete Sense
It's 3:14 AM. The kitchen floor is strangely sticky under my bare feet, and I'm furiously doomscrolling through an absolute hurricane of internet outrage with my thumb clamped over my phone's speaker so the autoplay videos don't wake the one...
Why the Phrase Sleep Like a Baby is Actually a Massive Fraud
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and I was wearing Dave's old gray college sweatpants that smelled faintly of sour milk and desperation. I was just staring blankly at the ceiling fan in our bedroom, listening to...
Why My First Smashed Baby Potatoes Were a Complete Disaster
I was literally chiseling carbonized potato skins off my one good baking sheet with a butter knife when I realized the internet had completely lied to me again. It was 2019, my oldest son Beau was about eight months old,...
The lie of the pristine soap baby and other bath time truths
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold bathroom tiles at two in the morning. You're holding a screaming, slippery infant who smells aggressively of artificial lavender. He is covered in suds, you're soaked in lukewarm...
The Truth About the SSA Baby Name Database (And My Biggest Regret)
I was 38 weeks pregnant, wedged into a kitchen chair that suddenly felt way too small, staring at a glowing spreadsheet of baby names at 11 PM. My husband was standing by the open fridge eating cold deli turkey straight...