What a Wild Baby Chimp Taught Me About Raising Twin Toddlers
I'm currently lying flat on the rug in our London living room, staring at a patch of ceiling that desperately needs painting, while someone repeatedly hits my left shin with a plastic spatula. Twin A (Isla) is shrieking because her...
Why a 1980s baby boom cast makes more sense than modern apps
My mum casually mentioned last Tuesday that if I didn't start putting a pulverized rusk into the twins' nighttime milk, they would never sleep past 4 am and I'd be looking at stunted growth by their third birthday. The bloke...
The Messy, Honest Truth About Getting a Baby Axolotl
It was 7:00 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen trying to pour coffee while my four-year-old oldest son shoved a piece of construction paper directly into my line of sight. On it was a crude...
The Great Flatlay Disaster: Twin Baby Announcement Ideas
The ultrasound gel was alarmingly cold, but that wasn't what made me stop breathing. It was the sudden, incredibly protracted silence from Janet, the NHS sonographer who had been cheerfully chatting about her spaniel just moments before. She squinted at...
Why I Replaced Sunday Pancakes With a Giant Puffy Dutch Baby
Let's start with a snapshot of my kitchen at 6:15 AM last Saturday. I'm standing over a hot stove with a spatula, trying to flip a silver-dollar pancake made of mashed bananas and oats. Meanwhile, my 11-month-old is wrapped tightly...
A dad's guide to the elusive baby turkey (and weaning woes)
It was 5:17 in the morning when the farm animal flap-book aggressively entered my peripheral vision, wielded by Twin A, who had somehow escaped her sleeping bag and decided that the pre-dawn darkness was the ideal time for agricultural education....
The nuclear bomb versus coughing infant joke and real colds
Listen. When my son developed his first real chest rattle, I received three distinct pieces of advice within a single hour. My desi mother-in-law told me to heat mustard oil with raw garlic and rub it on the soles of...
Why I let my toddlers watch the boss baby 2 and lived to tell
It was 3:14 PM on a rainy Tuesday in London, the exact time of day when my carefully constructed parenting ideals usually crumble into dust. The twins had been awake since before the sun bothered to rise, and our living...
When Your Toddler Turns Into a Baby Godzilla Destroying Your House
Yesterday at exactly 4:15 PM, I found myself hiding in the pantry eating stale Goldfish crackers in the dark while my two-year-old stood victorious on the coffee table, roaring at the top of his lungs after methodically sweeping my last...