Spiders, toddlers, and the absolute chaos of eight-legged pets
My brother-in-law told me a spiderling is the perfect first pet because it teaches quiet observation. My son's preschool teacher said bringing an arachnid into a house with a toddler is basically child endangerment. The guy at the local reptile...
The Trouble With Baby SpongeBob (And Other Screen Time Fails)
It was 7:13 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against the kitchen window, and Evie was actively trying to consume a stray piece of dog kibble while her twin sister, Maisy, methodically unrolled an entire two-pound pack of toilet paper....
Why You Need a Baby Sign Language Chart in Your Kitchen
I was standing barefoot on a kitchen floor completely covered in soggy, half-chewed Cheerios, furiously tapping my fingertips together at my red-faced nine-month-old while yelling over his screams about how he just needed to do the little hand thing if...
Why Your Baby Shower Entrance Doesn't Need A Giant Plastic Poster
There I was, thirty-two weeks pregnant with Maya, standing behind the dumpsters of a suburban Italian restaurant with half a lukewarm iced coffee in my hand. I was wearing this floral maternity wrap dress that aggressively rode up every time...
What my pediatrician actually said about a normal baby temperature
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing in the dark next to the crib. You're holding a glowing temporal thermometer like it's a loaded weapon. Your nursing degree is mounted on the wall somewhere downstairs, but it's currently...
When Babies Roll Over: The Unexpected Chaos of the Milestone
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. The baby monitor on my nightstand was glowing with the kind of ominous infrared light that usually precedes a jump scare in a horror movie. I stared at the pixelated screen, trying to...
Why I Threw Out My Popular Baby Seat (And Got The Upseat)
It was 10:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at my five-month-old son, Leo, who looked exactly like a tiny, extremely drunk man slumped at a bar at last call. He was sittingβor rather, sinkingβinto one of those...
What Is Shaken Baby Syndrome (And The Truth About Burnout)
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're sitting on the floor of your sister's nursery at 2:14 in the morning. You're wearing those god-awful grey Lululemon leggings with the bleach stain on the knee, holding your three-week-old nephew who's...
What the Travis Hunter Baby Reveal Taught Us About Privacy
The biggest lie modern parenthood sold us is the wooden letter board. You know the exact one I mean. It sits next to a two-hour-old infant, broadcasting their precise weight, length, birth hour, full legal name, and hospital location to...