The Newborn Spreadsheets: Confessions of a Recovering Stat Baby Obs...
Dear Tom from two and a half years ago, You're currently sitting in the glow of your phone screen in the hallway outside the nursery, aggressively logging "three minutes of unsettled grizzling" into an app that costs £4.99 a month....
Finding the Donna Summer Magic in Everyday Newborn Chaos
It's 3:14 in the morning. The radiator in our Chicago apartment is clanking like an asthmatic tin man, and my newborn daughter is doing her absolute best impression of a car alarm. Somewhere in the deep, sleep-deprived recesses of my...
What Keke Palmer Baby Daddy Drama Taught Me About Boundaries
I'm sitting on the cold tile floor of my sister’s bathroom at 2 AM, wearing yesterday’s yoga pants with a weird yogurt stain on the knee, holding a lukewarm cup of coffee I've literally microwaved three times. My sister is...
Why explicit industry baby lyrics are ruining my mornings now
The digital clock said 5:42 AM. The sky over Chicago was the color of wet concrete, and my coffee hadn't even finished dripping. I turned my back for three seconds to grab a mug. That was enough time for my...
Why Super Creek Goo Goo Babies Isn't The Parenting Trend You Think
I was elbow-deep in a basket of mismatched toddler socks yesterday, trying to figure out how a house with five people produces seventy-three single left socks, when my fourteen-year-old nephew snorted from the couch. He was supposed to be helping...
Why the baby fairy is a villainess trend ruined my whole week
I caught my teenage niece slipping her iPad to my two-year-old at Sunday dinner. The screen was a wash of pastel pinks, featuring a big-eyed, rosy-cheeked toddler in a frilly dress. I was tired. I was eating cold palak paneer....
Why The Boss Baby Movie Is A Brutally Accurate Medical Drama
It was six in the evening. The Chicago wind was doing that thing where it aggressively rattles the windowpanes just to remind you that going outside is a terrible idea. My toddler was sitting on my knee, methodically crushing a...
The Great Fur Babies Delusion: Why Your Terrier Is Not Practice
I was sitting on the hallway floor at 3:14 in the morning, holding a plastic bag of frozen peas to my forehead while watching our Jack Russell terrier methodically lick the remnants of a violently rejected rice cake off the...
Do Babies Dream? The Real Truth Behind Those Nighttime Twitches
My mother-in-law swore my son was remembering his past life in a village near Pune every time he grimaced in his bassinet. She would hover over his sleeping body in the dark, whispering beta, it's just a dream while he...