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Dear Past Me: The Absolute Messy Truth About Rock Babykleidung
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot with the AC blasting because it’s ungodly hot, ignoring your steering wheel which is completely sticky because your iced oat milk latte just aggressively leaked...
Dear Past Jess: The Truth About That Perfect Babyglück Shirt
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing over the changing table in the guest room, sweating straight through your only clean nursing bra while desperately trying to peel a rigid, zero-stretch denim-look button-down over Leo’s abnormally large head....
The Truth About Infant Knit Clothes (And Why Everyone Is Lying To You)
I was sitting at my kitchen island, hugely pregnant with Leo, wearing maternity leggings that had somehow lost their elasticity in the knees, when three different women gave me completely contradictory advice about dressing a winter baby within a span...
The Case For The Black Baby Onesie And Retaining Your Sanity
At 2:14 PM on a damp Tuesday, exactly three weeks into fatherhood, I found myself trying to extract a screaming infant from a pair of miniature, stiff denim jeans. Florence (or maybe Mabel, the sleep deprivation had completely blurred their...
Dear Past Me: The Brutal Truth About That Knitted Newborn Outfit
You're currently standing in the maternity ward at St. Thomas' Hospital, desperately trying to fold a flailing, furious five-pound infant into a miniature Aran jumper while a midwife named Brenda watches you with undisguised pity. You're sweating. The baby is...
Why a Womens Ringer Tee is Actually Medical Grade Mom Gear
I was scraping dried sweet potato off my shoulder with a lukewarm baby wipe when I finally accepted the truth about maternal fashion. The internet feeds us this massive, glittering lie that modern motherhood requires a closet full of high-tech,...
Why Traditional Toddler Rompers Are Actually A Complete Nightmare
I'm balancing my lukewarm iced vanilla latte on the edge of the incredibly questionable diaper changing station in the Target family restroom while my then two-and-a-half-year-old, Maya, is doing the frantic, knee-knocking pee dance. She is wearing this absolutely precious,...
The Truth About Infant Vintage Tees (And What to Buy Instead)
I was elbow-deep in a dusty bin at an antique mall in Waco when I found it: an authentic, 1986 tour shirt for some hair metal band, shrunk down to a size twelve months. I bought it for my oldest,...
Why Authentic Baby Band Tees Are a Terrible Idea for Your Kid
I'm currently trying to peel a rigid, stark-black AC/DC onesie off a thrashing toddler in the disabled toilet of a Wetherspoons, and I can definitively confirm that novelty infant apparel is an elaborate trap. The garment in question was gifted...