Why I Applied Chinese Baby Traditions to My British Twins
It was 9:47 PM on a Tuesday, roughly four months before our lives permanently imploded, when my wifeβwho was at that point roughly the size and shape of a medium family carβaggressively tapped her phone screen and demanded I calculate...
Why I Stopped Forcing Aesthetic Crafts and Let My Kids Make a Mess
Dear Jess from six months ago, I'm writing to you from the future, and you need to drop the organic sweet potato puree, step away from the canvas, and take a deep breath. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor...
Who Is In The Oho Enthan Baby Cast? And Other Screen Time Realities
My mother-in-law swears that blasting Bollywood musicals while a baby sleeps builds character and deepens their REM cycle. The senior charge nurse from my pediatric rotation used to tell mothers that a single exposure to a glowing screen before age...
My Search for the Best Baby Books (A Warning to Past Marcus)
Dear Marcus from exactly 182 days ago: I'm looking directly at the memory of you slicing open an Amazon box on the kitchen island at 2:14 AM. It contains six different hardcovers claiming to hold the ultimate algorithm for newborn...
The Truth About Beechnut Baby Food When You Have Twin Girls
It was 11:43 PM on a Tuesday. The NutriBullet was emitting a high-pitched scream usually reserved for dying spacecraft, and I was standing in my kitchen in nothing but my boxer shorts, covered in a fine, sticky mist of pureed...
Banana pancakes for baby: Why my first twin batch was a disaster
The smoke alarm in our London flat has a very specific, piercing shriek that usually only makes an appearance when I attempt to be culinary before 7 am. Tuesday morning was no exception. I was standing in the kitchen, squinting...
Dear Past Marcus: Stop Googling the baby steps anime at 3 AM
Dear Past Marcus, It's currently 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and you're staring at your phone in the dark while the baby (who's now 11 months old, by the wayβspoiler alert, we survive the sleep regression) does that weird dolphin-clicking...
The Real Deal on Feeding Your Baby Spinach Without the Tears
My mom told me to boil it on the stove until it completely surrendered and turned into a gray mush. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, swore up and down that applying any heat at all destroys the vitamins and I...
The truth about baby Sinclair sleep advice and 90s dinosaurs
It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I've got cold, regurgitated milk drying on my left shoulder while attempting to type search queries into my phone with my nose. Florence is screaming because she's awake, and Matilda is screaming because...