Magazine
Keeping the Baby Jesus Out of Your Toddler's Mouth
I was in the kitchen aggressively scraping burnt porridge out of a pan when the silence hit. Any parent of two-year-old twins knows that silence is never golden; it's highly suspicious and usually expensive. I dropped the pan, sprinted into...
Dear Jess: Surviving the Baby in Yellow Phase (And Other Shocks)
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the peeling linoleum of the downstairs bathroom at 3 AM, holding your three-day-old up to the harsh vanity lights, trying to figure out if you're sleep-deprived and hallucinating or if...
The truth about a baby horse, toddler safety, and fairy hooves
Three people gave me completely conflicting advice when my toddler developed a sudden, violent obsession with farm animals. My mother-in-law claimed children and equines share a psychic bond that transcends language. My old charge nurse from the pediatric trauma unit...
Dear Past Me: The Chaos of Finding a Baby Hedgehog
Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently standing on the back patio holding your third cup of lukewarm coffee, wearing those faded black Lululemons with the tiny hole in the left knee that you swore you were going to throw...
Why your baby hangers are ruining perfectly good clothes
Tuesday, 3 AM. The vomit reached his elbows. I stripped him down in the dark, wiping him with a cold wet wipe because hospital triage rules apply when bodily fluids breach the sleep sack. I reached into the closet for...
The Baby Giraffe Metaphor That Completely Changed My Motherhood
I was exactly 34 weeks pregnant with Maya, wearing these black maternity leggings that had a crusty, highly suspicious patch of dried Greek yogurt on the left thigh, standing in the middle of a big-box baby store just absolutely weeping...
That Time a Baby Fox Invaded Our Garden (And Teething Saved Us)
It was 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the kitchen wearing one sock, watching my daughter aggressively gnaw on the corner of our faux-mid-century sideboard like a starved termite. I glanced out the glass doors hoping...
The Great Puree Panic: Confessions From A Splattered Kitchen
There's currently a perfectly symmetrical, brilliantly orange splatter of sweet potato puree cooling on my left eyelid. It's Sunday at four in the afternoon, the sky over London has already surrendered to that bleak, bruised-plum colour of mid-winter, and I'm...
The Only Real Baby Feeding Chart You Will Actually Ever Need
I was standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and one mismatched sock, sobbing over a laminated spreadsheet taped to my freezer door. My oldest was screaming in his bassinet down the hall, and I...