Magazine
What To Do When Your Kid Demands A Baby Nessie Fisch On Roblox
It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing my husband's gray college sweatpantsβthe ones with the mysterious, hardened yogurt stain on the left knee that absolutely refuses to wash out no matter how much bleach I throw at it. I'm...
The 3 AM Meltdown That Finally Taught Me How to Name a Human
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-August, and the air conditioning in our apartment had completely surrendered. I was 37 weeks pregnant with Maya, wearing my husband Markβs hopelessly stained college lacrosse t-shirt, and I was crying so...
A Tech Dad's Guide to Baby Music and Debugging the Mozart Myth
It's 3:14 AM, and my Apple Watch is actively warning me that the ambient noise in our nursery has breached 85 decibels. Baby M is mid-meltdown, his face the exact color of a system-critical error screen, while I frantically swipe...
What to Do When Your Toddler Finds a Wild Baby Mouse in the Yard
My Tuesday morning began with a half-dead rodent. I was standing in our Chicago backyard, clutching a lukewarm coffee, while my two-year-old proudly held out her hands to show me her new treasure. Our family cat was sitting a few...
Dear Jess: The Honest Truth About The Baby Milo Confusion
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know you're sitting on the porch right now, sweating through a t-shirt in this ridiculous Texas humidity, staring at your phone while the toddler tries to feed gravel to the dog. You're exhausted....
The Big Baby Detergent Scam (And How I Actually Do Laundry)
I was standing in my laundry room at 3 AM in a pair of sour-milk-stained sweatpants, holding a twenty-four-dollar jug of baby detergent and straight-up sobbing. My oldest, Beau, was upstairs covered in angry red hives, and my mom was...
What No One Tells You About Feeding Your Kid Lamb
I was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor at two in the morning, furiously googling the internal temperature of a braised shank. My kitchen smelled like a Greek diner, and my six-month-old was asleep upstairs, blissfully unaware that I was...
The Reality of Raising a Baby Koala: How to Survive the Cling
It's currently two o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon, and I'm trying to pack three customized initial sweatshirts for my Etsy shop using exactly one hand, because my youngest, Leo, is currently attached to my torso like a damp, heavy little...
Dear Me: The Unvarnished Truth About Raising a Baby Kitten
Dear Sarah from six months ago. You're currently standing in your kitchen at 4:15 PM on a Tuesday, wearing those grey Target sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh, holding a damp cardboard box. Your four-year-old, Leo,...