The 3 AM Plastic Meltdown That Redefined Babys Spielzeug For Me
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing my husbandβs inexplicably stained college sweatpants. Leo, who was eight months old at the time and deep into a sleep regression that made me question all my life choices,...
Raising Gen Beta: AI Anxiety, Wooden Toys, And Finding Peace
I was sitting in the dark nursing my son while the Chicago winter tried to break my living room windows. My phone screen was the only light in the room. I had fallen down a 3 AM internet rabbit hole...
Ditching the Cringe: Baby Shower Activities People Actually Like
I was standing in my sister-in-law's cramped kitchen, holding a flimsy plastic spoon, trying to scrape melted, lukewarm Snickers out of a newborn diaper while seven women I barely knew stared at me in absolute silence. The chocolate had congealed...
The Diddy Baby Oil Meme: A Warning Letter To My Past Parenting Self
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold hexagonal tiles of the downstairs bathroom, wearing that baggy gray college hoodie with the mysterious bleach stain near the pocket. Your cold brew is sitting precariously on...
How to Choose a Baby Stroller Before You Completely Lose Your Mind
Hey Marcus from six months ago. You're currently sweating through your flannel shirt in aisle 14 of the massive baby gear warehouse, staring at a wall of aluminum and canvas like it's a server rack that just randomly caught fire....
My Unhinged, Exhausting Search For The Best Glass Baby Bottles
I was standing in my kitchen at 3:14 AM wearing my husband Danβs college sweatpants that had a questionable mustard stain on the knee, holding a supposedly pristine, top-of-the-line glass bottle while Maya screamed in the other room. I was...
My history with johnson and johnson baby oil and the pink bottle
Listen. I was standing in my cramped Chicago bathroom holding a naked, freshly bathed three-month-old who was entirely coated in johnson and johnson baby oil. He was thrashing like a freshly caught salmon. I had absolutely zero grip. My mother...
Why the Baki Baby Meme is Bizarre and What Real Strength Looks Like
I was sitting on the floor of my home office last Tuesday, trying to fulfill three Etsy orders for custom vinyl tumblers while simultaneously folding a mountain of tiny, mismatched socks, when my sisterβs fourteen-year-old nephew strolled in. He stepped...
Surviving the Logistics of Boy Baby Shower Invites
It was 11 PM on a Tuesday. I had a Google Sheet open with column headers for "Paper Weight (GSM)" and "Postage Cost Variance." My wife, Sarah, who was seven months pregnant at the time, walked into the kitchen holding...