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bambi baby store inspired deer pattern organic blanket

The Bambi Baby Store Standard: Surviving the Gear Shopping Madness

"Sleep when the baby sleeps," my mother confidently announced over a lukewarm cup of tea, completely ignoring the fact that there were two babies and they were heavily invested in sleeping in opposing four-hour shifts. "You absolutely must keep them...

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A tired mom holding a crying infant surrounded by scattered baby clothes and wooden toys on a living room floor.

Bringing Babys Home: Surviving The First Year Without Losing It

The digital clock on the microwave read 3:14 AM, and I was sitting cross-legged on the cold bathroom tile, desperately trying to steam the congestion out of my oldest son, Jackson. He was screaming like I was personally torturing him,...

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Stressed mom holding a lukewarm coffee cup while pushing a stroller through a park

How To Survive An Actual Baby's Day Out Without The Slapstick

It was precisely 10:14 AM on a Tuesday in late October, and I was standing in the parking lot of a suburban Target wearing gray yoga pants that had a highly suspicious yellow stain near the left knee, crying into...

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Tired dad looking at a motorized infant container next to a sleeping baby

A Letter to Past Me About the Illusion of the Perfect Baby Swing

Hey Marcus from six months ago. It's November, it's raining in Portland again, and you're currently staring at a $250 motorized bucket that oscillates at exactly 43 beats per minute while you pray it'll silence the tiny human who has...

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Tired mom drinking coffee next to a large baby swing in a messy living room

The Ingenuity Baby Swing Sleep Myth That Totally Broke My Heart

It was 3:14 AM on a random Tuesday in August, and I was sitting on my incredibly stained living room rug wearing a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and desperation. Leo was four weeks old. He was...

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A tired mom wearing a baby in a floral pattern soft structured carrier.

My Messy Journey With the Tula Carrier (And Why I Kept It)

It was a hundred and two degrees in July, right in the middle of a rural Texas Target parking lot, and my arms were bent backward like a stale pretzel. I was leaning heavily against the side of my minivan,...

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A dad nervously checking the rearview mirror at a baby in a rear-facing car seat.

The real baby driver 2: A letter to my past self about car seat panic

Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently idling in the driveway of the Hawthorne Fred Meyer in your Subaru. The engine is running. The heater is set exactly to 70 degrees because you read somewhere that anything else will...

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A confused dad looking at an at-home baby doppler device next to a laptop.

The Great Baby Doppler Debug: Why I Stopped Tracking Heartbeats

My mother told me that if I just pressed a toilet paper tube against my wife’s belly, I could hear the baby’s heartbeat perfectly. A senior developer on my team swore by buying a discarded clinical-grade ultrasound machine off eBay...

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Marcus holding the tiny black breast pump next to a massive coffee mug

Baby Buddha Pump: Why This Tiny Device Is A Vacuum Engine

It's 2 AM on a Tuesday. My wife is sitting in the glider, holding this sleek black plastic rectangle that's honestly smaller than my smartphone. We bought it because the internet forums promised it was a "cute" and "highly portable"...

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