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4-month-oldbabybabyproofingoutdoorparenting humorpet safety
Toddler looking at a baby ostrich through a car window at a drive-through safari

Surviving a Baby Ostrich Encounter With Your Sanity Intact

Before we packed up the minivan to visit the drive-through wildlife ranch out by the highway last weekend, I managed to get three entirely contradictory pieces of advice about the ostriches. My mom, bless her heart, told me on the...

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6-month-oldbaby feedingBaby-Led Weaninglondon dadparenthoodparenting humor
A messy kitchen table with scattered baby pancake pieces and a wooden highchair

Surviving the great baby pancake experiment of our weaning era

I'm currently scraping a piece of fossilised banana oat batter off the kitchen ceiling with a plastic spatula. It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the great weaning experiment has officially breached containment. Maya is covered in a sticky paste...

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11-month-oldanimal learningBabymillennialorganic baby clothesparenting humor
Confused dad looking at a laptop screen while holding a teething baby

Why Tiny Panther Movies and Reptile Pets Break Baby's System

I was holding exactly one half of a mashed banana when my seven-year-old nephew, visiting from Seattle for the weekend, loudly demanded we acquire a baby panther. It was 7:15 AM on a Saturday. My eleven-month-old son was currently mashing...

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1-month-oldanimal learningorganic baby clothesparenting humorpop culture
A funny infant seabird sitting in a nest waiting for its parents

The Viral Baby Pelican Meme and What We Actually Learn from Seabirds

It was 3:17 AM, and my oldest son—who's now five and is my daily cautionary tale of why we don't negotiate with emotional terrorists—was screaming his head off for the fourth time that night. I was scrolling Tumblr in the...

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animal learningbaby geareco-friendlylondon dadparenting humor
A tiny baby pig standing next to scattered wooden nursery blocks

Why Getting A Pet Piglet Might Actually Break Your Spirit

When we decided the twins needed to learn some sort of vague responsibility that didn't involve keeping me awake until 3am, the advice rolled in like a thick London fog. My mother suggested a golden retriever because they supposedly teach...

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baby birdsnature learningoutdoorparenting humor
A cardboard box on a kitchen counter prepared with a warm towel for a rescued backyard bird.

Finding A Baby Pigeon In Your Backyard (And What To Do Next)

"I need you to put the coffee down," my husband Dave said at exactly 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, wearing only one sock and looking like he'd seen an actual ghost in our hydrangeas. He was holding our seven-year-old, Leo,...

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fourth trimesterinfant sleepmillennialsnewbornorganic baby clothesparenting humor
Exhausted mom in stained sweatpants holding a sleeping newborn while holding a cold cup of coffee

Why We Blasted Baby Pluto To Survive The Fourth Trimester

It’s 3:17 AM on a Tuesday in November. I’m sitting in the driver’s seat of my husband Dave’s Honda Civic, parked securely in our own driveway with the engine idling. I’m wearing a gray fleece bathrobe that smells aggressively like...

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90s nostalgiababy safetybaby toysinfant developmentmillennialsparenting humor
A messy living room floor with a baby reaching for a soft plush toy next to coffee

My Disastrous Attempt at Raising a Pokémon Fan (And What Worked)

It was a Tuesday in 2019, I was running on maybe three hours of broken sleep, wearing a pair of Target leggings that smelled vaguely of sour milk, and I decided this was the perfect moment to introduce my then-two-year-old...

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11-month-oldbabybaby proofingeco-friendlyinfant safetyparenting humor
Marcus looking confused while holding a toilet paper roll and a baby gate.

Dear Past Me: The Ultimate Baby Proofing System for Clueless Dads

Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently feeling pretty smug. Your baby is five months old, mostly stays exactly where you put him, and basically acts like a warm, milk-drunk potato. You look around our Portland apartment and think,...

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