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Letter to Past Me: That Sorry Baby Movie Is Definitely Not A Comedy
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the faded living room rug in your yoga pants, elbow-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks, staring blindly at the streaming menu. Your oldest is trying to feed his...
What I Learned About Birth Plans After Sparkle Megan Has A Baby
I was halfway through surgically removing a layer of cemented, fossilised Weetabix from the highchair straps when my phone vibrated off the kitchen counter. A friend had sent me a link to an article about Megan Walerius—the bubbly, sequin-wearing contestant...
That viral stone baby video is lying to you about pregnancy
It's two in the morning and I'm watching my toddler practice his mixed martial arts kicks in his sleep while my phone screen illuminates the dark. The algorithm, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what a tired mother really...
How A Sugar Baby Watermelon Defeated Me And My Twin Toddlers
If you ever find yourself wondering whether a standard kitchen sponge is abrasive enough to remove dried fruit pulp from a matte-painted wall, let me save you a frantic Google search. It isn't. You need a dedicated scraper and a...
Why The Modern Baby-Sitters Club Reboot Is Actually Good
Sitting on my sofa last weekend, I made a critical error in judgment. I queued up the baby-sitters club 1995 movie for my ten-year-old niece, Maya, expecting a beautiful bonding moment over vintage denim and childhood innocence. Don't do this....
Why I let my toddlers watch the boss baby 2 and lived to tell
It was 3:14 PM on a rainy Tuesday in London, the exact time of day when my carefully constructed parenting ideals usually crumble into dust. The twins had been awake since before the sun bothered to rise, and our living...
Why I Finally Gave In and Bought a Baby Bottle Washer
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and my knuckles were literally bleeding. I was standing in my dark kitchen wearing a gray nursing tank that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration,...
What Nobody Tells You About Having a Pitbull and a New Baby
I was sitting on the sticky laminate floor of our kitchen at 2:14 AM, wearing maternity leggings with a suspicious yogurt stain on the left knee, absolutely sobbing into a mug of decaf instant coffee. I was seven months pregnant...
The Truth About Baby Pillows (And Why You Really Don't Need One)
I was standing in my nursery three days postpartum, hormonal tears stinging my eyes, holding a tiny pair of socks and staring at what looked like a miniature prison cell. My mom had just left after a visit, having casually...