Magazine
Can Babies Get High From Breastfeeding? The Brutally Honest Truth
It was 3:14 AM. I was sitting in our creaky nursery glider wearing a pair of my husband Dave's gym shorts that smelled faintly of old protein powder, nursing a four-month-old Leo who was aggressively pinching my left boob. My...
What I Wish I Knew About Giving Babies Water Before I Panicked
It's July 2020. I'm wearing a pair of maternity bike shorts that have a mysterious, hardened yogurt stain on the left thigh, and I'm sweating through my second t-shirt of the day. My husband, Dave, is standing next to our...
The "Call Me Baby" Era: TikTok Trends vs Actual Newborn Survival
It was 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, and I was sitting on our violently stained nursing chair trying to remember if I had already burped Twin A, or if the loud noise I just heard came from my own...
Troubleshooting the Caden Lane Baby Hype: A Dad's Deep Dive
It's 3:14 AM, and I'm trying to thread a microscopic plastic zipper in total darkness while a small, angry human practices mixed martial arts against my kidneys. My 11-month-old son has just executed a catastrophic diaper payload, and I'm currently...
Dear Priya: The messy truth about feeding a buttermilk baby
Listen. You're currently standing in the dairy aisle at Patel Brothers, staring at the cartons of cultured buttermilk and traditional chaas, having a mild internal crisis. Your mom has been asking for weeks when her precious granddaughter can finally have...
The Truth About Burt’s Bees Infant Gear: A Dad's Guide
At approximately 3:14 am last Tuesday, I found myself trying to locate my daughter Alice’s foot inside a yellow sleepsuit that appeared to have been tailored for a medium-sized golden retriever. I was sweating, the baby was screaming, and the...
The Burberry Baby Paradox: When Designer Threads Meet Reality
Dear Marcus from six months ago, I'm currently sitting on the floor of the laundry room staring at a 75% surface-area coverage stain on a 100% cashmere infant romper. It's 3:14 AM. The dog is hiding under the sofa because...
Why I Quit Natural Bug Spray for Babies (And What Actually Works)
I was standing on my back porch in East Texas last July, holding a twenty-eight dollar glass bottle of "artisan woodland mist" while a mosquito the size of a Buick casually drank from my oldest kid's leg. Bless my first-time-mom...
That Terrifying BRUE Baby Glitch: What I Wish We Hadn't Done
Whatever you do, please don't pick up your kid and shake them like a defective Wi-Fi router when they suddenly go completely limp, which is exactly the panicked instinct I had to fight back at 2:14 AM last Tuesday. My...