Magazine
Raising A Baby Hitler: Why I Stopped Tracking Cries And Held My Kid
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM in your timeline, and I know exactly what you're doing. You're sitting in the glow of your laptop in the nursery, holding a screaming, five-month-old Maya, and you're logging...
Why The Baby Highland Cow Trend Completely Took Over My Life
There's a piece of dried pampas grass currently jabbing me in the left nostril as I bend over to pick up a discarded sock, and I've just realized I'm staring directly into the soulful, watercolor eyes of a shaggy Scottish...
The Truth About Baby Heat Rash (Even in the Middle of Winter)
It was Thanksgiving day, forty degrees outside here in Texas, and I was unpeeling my oldest son, Hunter, from his fleece bear suit like a sweaty little tamale. My mother-in-law had insisted he needed a long-sleeve onesie, a heavy sweater,...
The Medical Reality of Buying Baby Headphones: A Nurse's Guide
We were sitting in row fourteen at my cousin's sangeet in Schaumburg when the bass from the dhol vibrated through the floorboards and straight up into my sternum. My daughter was barely three months old. I had my hands clamped...
The Bizarre Lifecycle of Infant Hair (And Why We Don't Shave It)
My mother-in-law was dead serious when she handed me my beard trimmer. We were sitting in the living room, staring at the side of my 11-month-old's head, which currently looked like a poorly maintained lawn. He had thick patches on...
The Baby Grand Era: When Grandma’s Advice Makes You Want to Scream
I'm staring at a drop-side crib that looks like it survived the Oregon Trail, and my mother-in-law is patting the literal patchwork quilt she just laid inside it. She's telling me how my husband slept in this exact death trap...
The Absolute Mess of Buying Baby Girl Shoes That Actually Work
I'm currently sitting here at 9:45 AM on my third cup of lukewarm French roast, trying to remember exactly when I lost my mind over miniature footwear. I think it was October 2018. My sister was getting married in upstate...
Real Talk: Buying Cute Baby Girl Outfits Without Going Broke
I was thirty-five weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting in the humid fellowship hall of our church, sweating through my maternity leggings while three different women stood over my folding chair giving me completely contradictory advice about clothes. My Aunt...
Baby Girl Coming Home Outfit: A Letter to My Exhausted Self
Dear Jess, You're currently sitting cross-legged on the nursery rug, 38 weeks pregnant, sweating right through your maternity bra while staring at three different browser tabs full of $80 smocked linen rompers. It's 2 AM, your sciatica is acting up,...