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When The Grandparents Bring Over Their 1980s Death Trap Baby Gear
I was wearing my husband’s stained grey sweatpants, the ones with the mysterious hole near the left knee, standing in my driveway at 10 AM on a Tuesday while clutching a mug of coffee I had already microwaved three times....
Dear Past Sarah: What I Wish I Knew About The Entire Bear Phase
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, slightly sticky linoleum of the downstairs bathroom, hiding from your own family. It’s, like, 9 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those gray sweatpants with the...
What The Drill Baby Drill Slogan Actually Means For Parents
Dear Sarah from last October, I know exactly where you're right now. It’s 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're standing in the kitchen wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the mysterious hole in the left thigh, holding your second—no, let's...
The Baby Giraffe Metaphor That Completely Changed My Motherhood
I was exactly 34 weeks pregnant with Maya, wearing these black maternity leggings that had a crusty, highly suspicious patch of dried Greek yogurt on the left thigh, standing in the middle of a big-box baby store just absolutely weeping...
Why Searching For A Baby Boy Movie Is A Terrible Weekend Idea
It was 6:14 AM on a Sunday, the coffee hasn't kicked in, and my 11-month-old son was aggressively trying to dismantle the living room router. I just wanted twenty minutes of peace. I grabbed the Apple TV remote, typed "baby...
Letter to Past Me: How to Survive the Real-Life Baby Boss Phase
It’s 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor wearing the grey sweatpants with the mystery yogurt stain on the left thigh, clutching a mug of tepid French roast like it’s a...
My In-Laws, A Drop-Side Crib, And The Great Grandparent Divide
It was 10:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, and my mother-in-law had just proudly wheeled a vintage, splintering drop-side crib into my living room. I'm pretty sure...
Dear past me: The ugly truth about the bitty baby
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the Target toy aisle while Maya has a full code blue meltdown over a generic plastic doll with terrifying eyelashes. You're rubbing your temples, staring at the...
Don't Give Your Kid That 1997 Purple Bear
I was standing in my mom's sweltering Texas attic last July, sweating through my t-shirt, while she rummaged through a stack of plastic storage bins. She finally pulled out a Ziploc bag with the reverence of someone handling the Declaration...