Magazine

Exhausted dad holding a screaming twin while frantically scrolling through his phone in the dark

The 'I Had a Baby Without You Dailymotion' Solo Parent Truth

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was covered in a highly suspicious layer of what I stubbornly told myself was only pureed sweet potato. Twin A was asleep on my chest, breathing with the heavy, damp rattle...

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A bewildered dad holding up two drastically different sized six-month baby pants.

Decoding the Old Navy Baby Sizing Matrix and Hard Truths

I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom at 2:14 AM yesterday, surrounded by a mountain of clean laundry, trying to compile a sorting algorithm in my head. I held up three different pairs of pants. They were all...

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Brooke Shields documentary playing on TV while a mom drinks coffee on a messy couch

The pretty baby brooke shields documentary totally broke my brain

It was 11:43 PM on a random Tuesday, and I was sitting on the couch in my husband Mike's college sweatpants—the ones with the highly questionable bleach stain on the knee—eating slightly stale goldfish crackers directly off Maya's Elsa plate....

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A sleep-deprived mom staring at a massive pile of dirty baby bottles in a kitchen sink.

Why I Finally Gave In and Bought a Baby Bottle Washer

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and my knuckles were literally bleeding. I was standing in my dark kitchen wearing a gray nursing tank that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration,...

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Infant lying on a white blanket looking confused during a makeshift photo shoot

The absolutely chaotic reality of getting a baby passport now

"Just take the picture against the fridge," my sister texted me while I was wrist-deep in a morning blowout. "No, beta, you've to go to the pharmacy and hold him up like Simba," my mother countered on speakerphone, completely unbothered...

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An exhausted pregnant woman staring blankly at a list of baby names on her phone

The 3 AM Meltdown That Finally Taught Me How to Name a Human

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in mid-August, and the air conditioning in our apartment had completely surrendered. I was 37 weeks pregnant with Maya, wearing my husband Mark’s hopelessly stained college lacrosse t-shirt, and I was crying so...

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A tired father wearing his baby in a carrier while working on a laptop at a kitchen island.

Debugging Fatherhood: What Silverbacks Taught Me About Babies

I was standing in our Portland kitchen at 3 AM, wearing a stained t-shirt and intensely color-coding my son's diaper output in a spreadsheet, when I realized my troubleshooting manual for fatherhood was completely corrupted. The lactation consultant at the...

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Exhausted dad looking at a fluffy puppy stealing a dummy on the living room floor

The Great Baby Golden Retriever Myth And How My Family Survived

There's a specific sort of betrayal you feel when you're prying a soggy, half-chewed muslin cloth out of the jaws of a twelve-week-old retriever while simultaneously trying to stop a toddler from attempting to ride said animal like a Shetland...

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Toddler standing on a coffee table knocking over a tall tower of blocks

When Your Toddler Turns Into a Baby Godzilla Destroying Your House

Yesterday at exactly 4:15 PM, I found myself hiding in the pantry eating stale Goldfish crackers in the dark while my two-year-old stood victorious on the coffee table, roaring at the top of his lungs after methodically sweeping my last...

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