The Great Fever Myth: Surviving Your Zähne Baby's Worst Days
It’s 3:17 am, and I'm holding a plastic thermometer to my daughter Lily’s ear while she attempts to perform a violent exorcism on herself. The digital display flashes an angry red 39.5°C. For three days prior, my Swiss mother-in-law had...
What the Sparkle Meghan Baby Drama Taught Me About Newborns
I'm sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 3:14 AM, pressing a warm bottle of breastmilk against my cheek to test the temperature, while my wife scrolls TikTok on the closed toilet lid. She holds up her phone, completely...
When The Baby Sister Strikes Back: A Letter To My Past Self
You're standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning, staring at a block of sharp cheddar cheese and rubbing your thirty-eight-week belly. You think you've this under control because you survived the newborn trenches once. You...
The absolute panic of your newborn's soft spot (and why it's fine)
I was sweating profusely in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon, holding a tiny striped jumper like it was an unexploded World War II bomb I had just unearthed in the garden. Twin A lay on the changing mat, completely...
Siberian Husky Baby Survival Guide for Clueless New Parents
I'm currently looking at a spreadsheet I built at three in the morning. It tracks the decibel level of my 11-month-old's cry plotted against the response time of our 60-pound sled dog, Apollo. Apollo is currently staring at a blank...
She's Having a Baby: A Clueless Dad's Guide to Newborn Survival
Don't pack an extension cord, a multi-port USB hub, and three different bluetooth speakers in the hospital bag. This is my first and most critical piece of advice. I was standing in our Portland living room with a color-coded spreadsheet...
The Honest Truth About Play Mats For Babies
I was on my hands and knees with a spray bottle of carpet cleaner, frantically scrubbing neon yellow newborn poop out of our cheap apartment carpeting, while my oldest screamed his absolute head off in a bouncy seat nearby. It...
My Brutally Honest Review of Little Spoon Baby Food Deliveries
I'm standing in an unfamiliar kitchen in Chicago at six in the morning, holding a plastic tub of green sludge that claims to contain spirulina, chia, and something called a 'dragon fruit.' My twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, are rhythmically...
When Do Puppies Lose Their Baby Teeth? An Exhausted Mom's Guide
Yesterday at the feed store, old man Miller told me to just give our new mutt pup an old leather work boot to chew on and call it a day. Then I check my phone and my sister texts me...