Why surviving twin toddlers requires literal tactical baby gear
There's a rather pervasive myth floating around the parenting forums right now. They'll enthusiastically tell you that fathers only buy militarised rucksacks because they're tragically insecure about their own masculinity. People assume we're terrified of holding a floral tote bag,...
What Three Wise Men and a Baby Gets Right About Real Parenting
My mom told me to keep him wrapped up tight in a heavy blanket so he wouldn't catch a draft. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, insisted he needed to "breathe" in the ninety-degree Texas heat and tried to strip him...
Reclaiming The Title Of Baby Mama And Surviving Year One
My wife is asleep next to me, emitting a low, rhythmic wheeze that means she’s currently in deep REM, and I'm sitting in the dark, furiously scrolling through a Wikipedia rabbit hole about billionaires. I literally caught myself googling how...
Surviving Baby's First Halloween Without the Scratchy Tears
I was standing in the middle of a damp Texas pumpkin patch in 2019, wrestling my oldest out of a $65 synthetic lion suit while he screamed loud enough to wake the dead. The zipper was stuck in a tuft...
The Great Staircase Panic: A Messy Guide to Baby Gates
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, I was wearing one wool sock and one ankle sock, and I had my back turned to the living room for exactly four seconds to pour my second cup of coffee....
What The Baby Garnet Case Taught Me About Postpartum Survival
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold bathroom floor at 3:14 AM. You're wearing Dave’s oversized gray fleece—the one from college that smells vaguely of sour milk and desperation—and you're staring at the grout lines...
The truth about newborn diapering and blowout prevention
My lowest parenting moment wasn't the endless crying. It was 3:14 in the morning on day four, standing over a changing table, trying to catch a stream of newborn urine with my bare hand while actively realizing I had fastened...
Dear Past Me: Stop Googling "Baby Chicks For Sale" Before You Read ...
You're standing in aisle four of the farm supply store. It’s April. You're wearing those black leggings with the mysterious crusty yogurt stain on the left knee, balancing a rapidly melting iced oat milk latte against your hip, while Maya—who's...
The Truth About the Baby Blues: Why You're Crying on the Floor
When I was pregnant with my first kid (bless my naive, perfectly rested little heart), everyone had an opinion on how I was going to feel after giving birth. My mom swore up and down that I'd be so overwhelmed...