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The Great Baby Sleep Sack Delusion (And What Actually Works)
Before the twins arrived, my wife and I spent an embarrassing amount of time folding beautifully crocheted, pastel-coloured blankets over the edge of their cots. I had this distinct, cinematic vision of fatherhood where I'd gently tuck a cellular quilt...
Debugging the erratic hardware of your newborn's respiratory system
My mother-in-law confidently told me that if the nursery is completely quiet, the baby is sleeping perfectly and I should go make a sandwich. My lead developer at work, however, told me that I needed to purchase a hospital-grade under-mattress...
The baby Saja aesthetic versus the reality of my screaming twins
It was 4:12 AM, the bluish light of my phone illuminating a half-eaten Hobnob on my bedside table, when I fully lost my grip on reality. One of the twins—I honestly couldn't tell you which one in the dark, but...
The 2 AM Panic: When Your Little One Finally Flips Over
It was exactly 2:13 AM on a Tuesday when the illusion of control in my parenting life officially shattered. My oldest, Leo—who's now five and still my primary cautionary tale for most things in life—was three and a half months...
The Myth of the Pretty Baby: Surviving the First Messy Months
3:14 AM. Tuesday. Or maybe Wednesday. I'm standing in the dark, heavily stained with an acidic mixture of formula and what I strongly suspect is Calpol, holding a screaming Twin A while Twin B begins to rustle ominously in the...
My toxic relationship with that glowing Baby Einstein aquarium
It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November. I'm standing barefoot in the hallway, wearing a stained nursing tank that I still haven't washed even though my son Leo is three and Maya is eight months old, and I'm practically...
What I got totally wrong about the baby monitor as a pediatric nurse
It's three in the morning and I'm digitally zooming in on a pixelated chest, holding my own breath to see if my son is taking his. I spent five years on the pediatric floor at a Chicago hospital, managing central...
What I Got Completely Wrong About My First Baby Bouncer Seat
It was a Tuesday at like, 2 PM, and I was sitting on the damp bath mat in my tiny apartment bathroom, wearing a stained gray nursing bra and exactly one sock. Leo was three and a half weeks old....
The Reality Of Raising Kids And Baby Boomers
There I was on a Tuesday afternoon, up to my elbows in puréed peas, trying to keep the twins from using our poor golden retriever as a step stool, when my mom walked through the back door holding a drop-side...