The Messy, Sweet Potato-Covered Truth About Using Baby Spoons
It was 2019, and there was pureed sweet potato on my living room ceiling fan. Not a light splatter, y'all. A heavy, gravity-defying clump. My oldest son, bless his heart, had just karate-chopped the hard plastic baby spoon I was...
The Oxford Street Kids Clothes Shop Incident and Other Regrets
We were twenty minutes into a torrential downpour on Oxford Street when Twin A discovered a rack of heavily sequined, faux-leather mermaid trousers. Twin B, meanwhile, was systematically pulling the size stickers off every pair of denim jeans in a...
The Only Newborn Outfits You Actually Need (And What to Burn)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the window AC unit in our bedroom was fighting a losing battle against the Texas humidity. I was dripping in postpartum night sweats, sitting cross-legged on the rug in my mesh hospital...
How a Single Bunny Blanket Took Our Entire Family Hostage
I'm currently upside down in the backseat of our Prius with a flashlight clamped between my teeth. It's 11:43 PM. My wife is standing on the porch holding a screaming eleven-month-old, and we're tearing the car apart because we lost...
The great baby silicone migration: a dad's troubleshooting guide
My mother-in-law texted me a picture of a 1980s plastic playpen yesterday, assuring me that my wife gnawed on the rails for months and turned out completely fine. Ten minutes later, my neighbor—who brews her own rainwater kombucha—leaned over our...
Buy Buy Baby Registry: What I Wish I Knew Before Building v1.0
I'm currently sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by a mountain of collapsed cardboard, trying to figure out how to process a return for a piece of modular stroller suspension that I clearly ordered in a sleep-deprived fugue state....
The Big Lie About Finding the Best Car Seat (And Surviving the Drive)
It was 98 degrees in a BuyBuyBaby parking lot—RIP to that store, honestly, I spent half my pregnancy wandering those aisles in a daze—and I was sweating through my gray maternity leggings. You know, the ones from Target that always...
The Stressed Dad Rules for Used Baby Gear and Sleep Loss
Standing in a stranger’s soggy driveway in southeast Portland at 9:15 PM, rain soaking through my fleece, trying to fold a secondhand stroller that smelled faintly of old milk and despair. This was my absolute breaking point. My wife, Sarah,...
Is the Job of a Brand Ambassador Actually Worth the Stress?
I'm currently wedged between our coffee table and a dangerously overloaded laundry basket, holding a smartphone at a 45-degree angle while making desperate clicking noises with my tongue. My 11-month-old son is supposed to be interacting thoughtfully with a visually...