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A dad holding a messy baby while frantically checking his phone.

System Failure: Searching for Baby Clothes Near Me in Portland

The sound was suspiciously similar to a ketchup bottle emptying its final contents, but we were miles from a diner and my eleven-month-old daughter was entirely too pleased with herself. We were at Mt. Tabor park, I was trying to...

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Frustrated mom drinking coffee next to a rear-facing baby car seat in a messy car

A Letter to My Past Self About Surviving Baby Car Seat Chaos

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently jammed into the backseat of the Honda, one knee completely numb because you're using your entire adult body weight to press a massive piece of plastic into the upholstery. Your iced...

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Exhausted dad sitting in the dark holding a crying baby while looking at a smartphone

System Meltdown: A Clueless Dad's Guide to Surviving Colic in Babies

I was bouncing on a half-inflated yoga ball at 140 beats per minute, frantically whispering "shhh" while my five-week-old son screamed so aggressively his face looked like a boiled lobster. My Apple Watch buzzed to congratulate me on my intense...

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A dad staring confused at a blank baby shower card next to a coffee

Writing a Baby Shower Card When You Have No Idea What to Say

I was standing in the greeting card aisle at the local Portland Fred Meyer, holding a pastel yellow card featuring a deeply anatomically incorrect stork, completely paralyzed. I had solicited advice from three different people on what to write in...

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Tom staring at a glowing phone screen in a dark nursery while twin babies sleep in the background

That 3AM Panic Search: How To Tell If The Babys All Right Now

The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the nursery, illuminating the half-eaten Hobnob I had abandoned on the nursing chair. It was 3:14 AM. Twin A (who we had quietly designated the Loud One) was making...

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Tired dad looking at a motorized infant container next to a sleeping baby

A Letter to Past Me About the Illusion of the Perfect Baby Swing

Hey Marcus from six months ago. It's November, it's raining in Portland again, and you're currently staring at a $250 motorized bucket that oscillates at exactly 43 beats per minute while you pray it'll silence the tiny human who has...

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A wobbly toddler in soft Kianao organic cotton pants trying to take independent baby steps by the couch.

Before and After: Surviving the Panic of Your Kid's Baby Steps

I'm sitting on the floor of our living room. It’s a Tuesday in late 2021, and I'm wearing a pair of black leggings that have a mystery yogurt stain crusted onto the left knee. My son, Leo, who's thirteen months...

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Sarah drinking coffee while baby plays safely in a wooden play space.

Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Play Area for My Kids

It was a Tuesday morning in late 2017, and I was wearing a pair of black yoga pants that had a highly questionable smear of sweet potato puree on the left thigh. Maya was seven months old, which meant she...

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Two toddlers in a London park wearing tiny infant trainers while their dad looks exhausted.

Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew Before Buying Nike Baby Shoes

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently standing in the pouring rain outside a shop window in Covent Garden, staring at a pair of miniature high-tops while your twin daughters attempt to dismantle the rain cover of their Bugaboo...

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