The truth about baby oil when everyone has an opinion
My mother-in-law cornered me in the nursery when my son was four days old, wielding a bottle of pungent mustard oil. She informed me that a vigorous daily massage would make his bones strong, calling me beta in that tone...
The Truth About Target’s Baby Registry From a Tired Dad
I'm standing in our London flat at 2am, holding an iPad my American mother-in-law mailed across the Atlantic, staring at a digital spreadsheet that's fifty rows deep in burp cloths alone. My wife is asleep on the sofa, heavily pregnant...
How to keep your lil baby alive without losing your entire mind
Listen, I spent my first two weeks as a mother doing everything exactly wrong. It was three in the morning, and I was bouncing violently on a yoga ball, aggressively shushing while balancing my phone on my shoulder to play...
The Brutally Honest Guide to Surviving the Baby Gear Avalanche
When I was pregnant with my first, I got three completely different pieces of advice in the span of a single Sunday dinner. My mom, who firmly believes the 1990s were the peak of human parenting, told me I needed...
The 3AM Rescue: Why a Jersey Knit Swaddle Blanket Saved Me
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the dark kitchen in a pair of stained maternity leggings that I had supposedly retired three weeks prior, just staring at my newborn son. Leo was three...
Why Good Infant Black Leggings Are The Only Baby Pants You Need
There I was, profusely sweating through my favorite nursing tank in the middle of a crowded pumpkin patch, trying to wrestle my oldest son's chunky six-month-old thighs out of a pair of miniature rigid corduroy overalls. He was screaming, I...
Why the Henley Romper is the Only Baby Outfit You Need
Dear Sarah from last November, You're currently standing in the middle of our sister's nursery, sweating in that beige oversized sweater that makes you look like a sheep, holding a lukewarm Yeti mug of day-old coffee. You're staring at a...
Why the Newborn Kimono Shirt is a Bug Fix for Early Parenting
Before our son was born, I made the mistake of asking three different people how to dress a newborn. My mother immediately texted me a link to a 20-pack of standard crotch-snap onesies because that's just what babies wear. Our...
The Great Swaddle Blanket Debugging: A Letter to My Past Self
Dear Marcus from eleven months ago. You're currently balancing on one foot in the semi-darkness of the nursery, holding a screaming, flailing seven-pound human potato against your chest. You're desperately trying to pause a YouTube tutorial with your chin because...