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The Brutal Truth About Shower Gifts That Guests Actually Keep
I'm standing in my kitchen, staring at a tiny resin carriage I just found in the back of my junk drawer. I honestly don't know whose party it came from. Before I had my own kid, I thought you had...
What to write in a baby shower card without losing your mind
I'm sitting in the passenger seat of our sedan, balancing a small square envelope on the dashboard while my husband dodges Chicago potholes. We're twenty minutes late to my cousin's baby shower. The pen I dug out of the glovebox...
My 3am breakdown over finding genuinely rare monikers for daughters
It was 3:14 in the morning, the glow of my MacBook illuminating the half-eaten Hobnob resting dangerously close to my wife's massive, third-trimester bump. We were locked in a vicious, whispered argument over whether "Lyra" sounded too much like "liar"...
The absolute hell of buying baby furniture (and what to buy)
It was 2017, I was twenty-four weeks pregnant with Maya, and I was sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of a massive warehouse store crying into a half-empty iced oat milk latte. I was wearing these atrocious grey Target maternity...
What a Baby Flamingo Taught Me About the 50/50 Parenting Split
The digital meat thermometer flashed 98.6 degrees, which meant the bottle of pumped breastmilk I was holding was exactly best for human consumption. It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, the Portland rain was actively trying to dissolve our bedroom...
Why That Adorable Baby Bunny Is a Terrible Idea for Your Toddler
I was elbow-deep in a basket of mismatched toddler socks last night when a post in my local county Facebook group made me drop my phone right into the laundry basket. Some sweet, incredibly naive mom had posted, "Looking for...
What The Drill Baby Drill Slogan Actually Means For Parents
Dear Sarah from last October, I know exactly where you're right now. It’s 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're standing in the kitchen wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the mysterious hole in the left thigh, holding your second—no, let's...
Cincinnati Zoo Gladys Gorilla Baby Birth & Postpartum Chaos
It was 3:14 in the morning, I had a streak of questionable yellow spit-up drying on my left shoulder, and my oldest was throwing an absolute fit in the next room because his favorite dinosaur sock fell off in his...
The Honest Guide to Finding the Best Baby Bottles for Your Baby
It was 2:14 AM, the Texas summer heat was somehow still radiating through the walls, and I was standing in my kitchen in a milk-stained t-shirt having a full-blown breakdown over fifteen tiny pieces of plastic. My oldest, Carter, was...