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A dad looking stressed while holding an 11-month-old baby near a wooden play area

Surviving the Lava Monster Phase: A Dad's Take on Baby Moana

The haptic feedback on my Apple Watch woke me from a sleep-deprived trance at exactly 3:14 PM on a Saturday. It was a decibel warning. My living room had just surpassed 90 decibels, which my watch helpfully noted could cause...

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A toddler playing with wooden toys on a mat instead of doing sports drills.

The truth about baby gronk age and our toxic prodigy obsession

The six-year-old was sitting on the examination table with an ice pack on his knee, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else on earth. His dad was standing next to him in full athletic gear, holding a clipboard and...

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Exhausted mother holding a screaming infant in a dark nursery

When your sweet newborn suddenly turns into an actual baby demon

It was exactly 6:43 PM on a Tuesday in November. The radiators in our Chicago apartment were clanking the way they always do when the wind picks up. My sweet three-month-old daughter, who had spent the entire morning peacefully cooing...

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Mother holding her sleeping infant in a dimly lit nursery room

What A Baby Chimpanzee Actually Taught Me About Human Parenting

It was three in the morning in the postpartum ward. I was bleeding through a mesh pad, staring at my newborn son in his plastic bassinet, waiting for the maternal instinct software to finish downloading. I thought it would just...

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Exhausted mom drinking coffee while toddler plays safely behind a gate away from dog

What Nobody Tells You About Having a Pitbull and a New Baby

I was sitting on the sticky laminate floor of our kitchen at 2:14 AM, wearing maternity leggings with a suspicious yogurt stain on the left knee, absolutely sobbing into a mug of decaf instant coffee. I was seven months pregnant...

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A confused and exhausted mom holding a coffee cup looking at a tablet screen.

What To Do When Your Kid Demands A Baby Nessie Fisch On Roblox

It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing my husband's gray college sweatpants—the ones with the mysterious, hardened yogurt stain on the left knee that absolutely refuses to wash out no matter how much bleach I throw at it. I'm...

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Toddler standing on a coffee table knocking over a tall tower of blocks

When Your Toddler Turns Into a Baby Godzilla Destroying Your House

Yesterday at exactly 4:15 PM, I found myself hiding in the pantry eating stale Goldfish crackers in the dark while my two-year-old stood victorious on the coffee table, roaring at the top of his lungs after methodically sweeping my last...

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Exhausted mother holding a crying baby while looking at a tablet screen

The Cry Baby Cast Reality Check: Screen Time vs Real Tears

When my son hit six weeks old, my mother-in-law told me to rub brandy on his gums. My neighbor swore by putting him in a vibrating chair on top of a running washing machine. The doctor suggested I just put...

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Toddler looking at a baby horse in a barn while wearing a structured carrier

The truth about a baby horse, toddler safety, and fairy hooves

Three people gave me completely conflicting advice when my toddler developed a sudden, violent obsession with farm animals. My mother-in-law claimed children and equines share a psychic bond that transcends language. My old charge nurse from the pediatric trauma unit...

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