The ugly truth about that baby alive doll hiding in your playroom
I'm standing over my kitchen sink at eleven at night with a pair of surgical tweezers, trying to extract a solid black clump of fermented synthetic cherry mush from the plastic esophagus of a toy. This is not how I...
Surviving the baby shark song without losing your entire mind
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting in the pediatric ICU breakroom, eating a stale protein bar, pregnant, smug, and swearing your future child will only listen to classical music and ambient nature sounds. I need you to...
Why Those Vintage Pretty Little Baby Lyrics Actually Work
It's currently 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, I've exactly three minutes to move laundry from the washer to the dryer before my youngest wakes up from her nap, and my oldest is somewhere in the living room pressing a button...
The Truth About Reborn Baby Dolls (And Why I Bought One)
I was standing in my kitchen at 7 AM, wearing yoga pants with a mysterious white stain on the knee, aggressively stirring my third coffee of the morning, when I casually mentioned to my mother-in-law that I was thinking about...
The Big Myth About Childrens Stacking Blocks
I'm currently sitting on the floor of my living room, nursing a bruised heel because I just stepped on a rogue wooden square while carrying a laundry basket the size of a small car. My youngest, who's nine months old,...
Why I Finally Ditched the Neon Plastic Baby Play Gym
It was a Tuesday, roughly 2:15 PM in late October 2017. Maya was exactly fourteen weeks old, and I was wearing a pair of dark grey maternity leggings that I had absolutely no intention of retiring anytime soon. They had...
Finding the right Rassel für Babys without losing your mind
When Maya was about twelve weeks old, my mother-in-law marched into my kitchen and handed me a literal sterling silver rattle that weighed as much as a kettlebell. "It's an heirloom," she whispered reverently, tracing the engraved initials of some...
Why Most Plastic Backyard Toys Are Trash (And What Actually Lasts)
It was three o'clock on a Tuesday in late July, it was roughly a hundred and two degrees in the shade, and I was standing in my backyard holding a piece of jagged neon green plastic that used to be...
Why Wooden Toys for a 1-Year-Old Might Actually Save Your Sanity
It's 5:42 am on a Tuesday, and I'm currently staring at a plastic farm animal that has been singing the same off-key rendition of 'Old MacDonald' for fourteen consecutive minutes. Maya has her tiny foot firmly planted on the cow...