Magazine

Dusty purple Princess Diana Beanie Baby sitting on an attic storage bin

The Brutal Truth About That Purple 90s Bear in Your Attic

I was standing in my mother’s oppressively hot, dust-choked attic at two in the afternoon on a Tuesday, wearing my husband Dave’s stained Villanova hoodie because I was freezing despite the heat, sneezing so violently I thought my brain might...

Read more

Vintage 90s stuffed animal sitting on a wooden shelf out of a baby's reach

The Beanie Baby Ty Debate: Why My 90s Toys Stay In The Attic

I was sitting cross-legged on the splintery plywood of my mom's Texas attic, sweat pooling at the base of my neck while I tried to organize boxes of my old high school junk. My mom, who firmly believes every piece...

Read more

Exhausted mom in a messy kitchen holding a crying baby chewing on a silicone panda toy

What I Got Entirely Wrong About The Whole Teething Nightmare

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing dead in the middle of my kitchen wearing a stained Britney Spears baby tee from 1999 that I'd somehow repurposed as pajamas, holding a screaming four-month-old Leo while my...

Read more

Exhausted mom drinking coffee while holding a crying baby in a messy nursery

The Messy Truth About Raising Cute Babies (And Surviving The Crying)

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was trying to wrestle a screaming, four-day-old Leo out of a stiff, scratchy mustard-yellow linen romper that had, like, seventeen tiny wooden buttons. I was sweating through my nursing bra. My...

Read more

A tired dad holding a silicone cow teether in a London flat

How I Survived the Great Highland Cow Baby Obsession of 2024

I'm currently sitting in the corner of a semi-detached flat in Zone 3 London, making intense eye contact with a six-foot plush Scottish bovine. It has more hair than I do, takes up roughly the same square footage as a...

Read more

Marcus holding a vintage 90s plush toy next to a modern baby-safe organic teether

Why That Vintage Ty Beanie Baby Is a Terrible Gift for Infants

My mom's care package arrived at 2 PM on a Tuesday, smelling faintly of mothballs and unfiltered 1997 optimism. I sliced open the cardboard, pulled out Claude the Crab—complete with the pristine heart-shaped tag encased in a plastic protector—and handed...

Read more

A chaotic playroom floor mostly cleared off leaving a few wooden toddler toys.

Finding the Best Kinder Spielzeug Without Losing Your Mind

It was 2:13 AM, I was carrying a barely-sleeping six-month-old, and my bare foot found the one object in the living room that doesn't just squeak—it sings a loud, unhinged, techno remix of "Old MacDonald" when you step on it....

Read more

A baby playing with a wooden play gym on a living room rug while a tired dad holds a cup of coffee.

Lil Baby Harvard: Raising a tiny genius without losing your mind

Within forty-eight hours of bringing the twins home, I received three distinct pieces of unsolicited advice regarding their future intellectual dominance. My mother-in-law arrived with a set of high-contrast Mandarin flashcards (I speak passable French; my wife speaks sarcasm). Our...

Read more

Mom looking through a dusty plastic bin of 90s stuffed animals

The Brutal Truth About If Your Old Beanie Babies Are Worth Money

My mom hauled a dust-caked Rubbermaid tub down from her attic last Thanksgiving, slapped the lid with a triumphant thud, and announced she was handing over my children's college tuition. We were standing in the garage, dodging wasps, while she...

Read more