Magazine
What I Actually Learned From The Mother Baby Nurse On My Worst Night
It was 4:12 AM and I was sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of my bathroom floor, leaking from literally everywhere. Maya was exactly four days old. My older kid, Leo, who was three at the time, was blessedly asleep...
Why The Baby Beluga Musician NYT Clue Destroyed My Sleep Entirely
The glowing rectangle of my phone was the only light in the nursery at 3:42 am last Tuesday. Twin A (Maya) was draped across my left shoulder like a heavily sedated sack of potatoes, occasionally whimpering and aggressively gnawing on...
Why your newborn sounds like a tiny restless barnyard animal
It's three in the morning and you're hovering over the bassinet with your phone flashlight half-covered by your thumb. You're doing this because the tiny human you birthed is making noises that belong in a barnyard. It's a mix of...
Raising a Gemini Baby Without Losing Your Mind Or All Your Friends
"Don't tell Mr. Henderson that his grass looks like garbage. I don't care if that's what Daddy said in the kitchen, you keep your mouth shut because your wife is my friend and I've to sit next to her at...
My Chaotic Baby Gemini Hiking Story On The Ashlyn Peaks Trail
Whatever you do, please learn from my colossal screw-up and avoid attempting the south ridge trail at Ashlyn Peaks with a six-month-old Gemini strapped to your chest while wearing non-breathable Lululemon knock-offs, because it'll end in chafing and tears. Mostly...
Decoding the Angel Emoji Baby: What It Really Means for Parents
I was sitting in the front seat of my Honda Odyssey in the Target parking lot yesterday, aggressively sucking down an iced latte that had already started to separate into that weird milky water at the bottom, wearing leggings that...
Finding a CD Baby Coupon Code and Debugging Nursery Audio
My mother-in-law insisted we needed a booming surround-sound system pumping classical Mozart into the crib to guarantee our daughter would eventually understand advanced calculus. My lead engineer at work, who approaches parenting like a server migration, swore by absolute, vacuum-sealed...
Realistic Baby Puree Recipes (And My Exploding Blender Disaster)
It was 4:12 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing on a dining chair scraping aggressively orange sweet potato mush off my kitchen ceiling with a spatula. I was wearing my favorite cream-colored cashmere blend sweaterβbecause apparently, sleep deprivation...
What a Tiny Baby Lemur Taught Me About Motherhood and Survival
Don't, under any circumstances, let your highly impressionable four-year-old watch a nature documentary about the rainforest forty-five minutes before lights out, unless you want to spend the next two weeks of your life explaining why a baby lemur can't sleep...