Magazine

A stressed dad holding a tablet showing a children's video to a baby

Why Ms Rachel Works Like a Glitch in My Baby's Brain

The production database locked up at exactly 4:13 PM on a Tuesday, which was incidentally the exact moment my eleven-month-old decided his incoming lateral incisor required a decibel level usually reserved for jet engine testing. Outside, the Portland rain was...

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Exhausted mom looking at her phone in the dark while holding a baby

Why googling "Luna baby" at 3 AM is actually a terrible idea

I'm sitting on the cold, hexagonal tile of my master bathroom floor, and it's exactly 3:14 AM. I know it's 3:14 AM because the glowing red numbers on the digital clock Dave insisted we put in there are glaring at...

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A dad holding his 11-month-old baby while looking at a Minecraft village on a computer screen.

The Real Truth About How To Make Baby Villagers Grow Faster

Last Tuesday at 3:14 AM, the ambient temperature in my living room was exactly 68.4 degrees, I was running on four hours of deeply fragmented sleep, and I was aggressively throwing virtual carrots at a digital infant. I was desperately...

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A tired dad holding a baby using a whisper-quiet Frida Baby nebulizer

Debugging Infant Nasal Congestion With the Frida Baby Nebulizer

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, the room temperature was exactly 71.5 degrees, and the humidifier was running at maximum capacity to make our Portland bedroom feel like a tropical rainforest. And yet, the 11-month-old was still whistling through...

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A VAVA baby monitor camera mounted on a nursery wall next to a crib

What I Wish I Knew About the VAVA Baby Monitor

Listen. I know you're sitting on the edge of the glider right now, staring at a frozen smartphone app while your six-month-old cries in the other room. It's 3 AM in Chicago. The radiator is hissing. Your Wi-Fi router just...

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Mother wearing wireless headphones while baby plays on a wooden gym.

Who Is In The Oho Enthan Baby Cast? And Other Screen Time Realities

My mother-in-law swears that blasting Bollywood musicals while a baby sleeps builds character and deepens their REM cycle. The senior charge nurse from my pediatric rotation used to tell mothers that a single exposure to a glowing screen before age...

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Tired dad holding a youth baseball compression sleeve next to a confused baby.

The Bruce Bolt Graduated Compression Arm Sleeve - Baby Blue

It was 3:14 AM, the glow of my second monitor was illuminating the living room wall, and I was holding a cylindrical tube of incredibly tight, moisture-wicking spandex next to my 11-month-old’s chubby left forearm. He was gnawing on a...

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Metal safety barrier hardware mounted at the top of a wooden staircase swinging outward toward the hallway

My Humiliating Physics Lesson on Staircase Barriers

I was standing at the top of our fourteen-step Portland craftsman staircase holding a plastic tension rod barrier, a laser level, and a completely false sense of confidence. My wife, Sarah, paused on her way to the kitchen, shifting our...

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A tired mom holding a coffee cup next to a Eufy baby monitor on a messy nightstand

Dear Past Me: Just Buy The Eufy Baby Monitor And Go To Sleep

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of the upstairs bathroom because it's the only place in the house where...

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