The Day We Brought A Swamp Creature Into My Kitchen
It was exactly 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husbandβs ten-year-old college sweatshirt with a mysterious bleach stain on the sleeve. I hadn't even taken my first sip of lukewarm oat milk...
Why That Cute Baby Moose Is Actually A Hiking Nightmare
I was holding my breath so hard I thought I was going to pass out right there on the gravel trail in Rocky Mountain National Park. We had blown our vacation budget driving up from Texas just to get out...
Yellowstone Panic, Iron Deficiencies, And Cooking A Baby Bison
I'm sweating entirely through my gray t-shirt. The ergonomic carrier is digging a trench into my left shoulder blade. My 11-month-old son is happily attempting to rip my nose off my face, completely oblivious to the threat matrix unfolding exactly...
Why a Baby Wombat Video Ruined My Tuesday (And Other Lessons)
It's exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile wearing my husband Dave's oversized tech-conference t-shirt from 2016, trying to explain to my weeping four-year-old why I can't sew a pouch onto her...
Why Getting A Baby Turtle Is Actually A Terrible Idea For Kids
My index finger is pressed against the remarkably smudged glass of a terrarium at a strip-mall pet store in Beaverton, desperately trying to explain the concept of a "shell" to an 11-month-old who's currently attempting to eat my shoelaces. It...
Dear Jess: Please Stop Panicking About That Prickly Baby Rose Bush
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're standing at the kitchen window, staring out at the sweltering Texas yard with a cup of coffee that went cold three hours ago. Youβve got a...
Surviving a Baby Praying Mantis Hatch With an 11-Month-Old Kid
It was 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a plastic mesh butterfly pavilion on my kitchen counter like I was waiting for a server to reboot. I held a plastic spray bottle in one hand, completely...
What to do when your toddler finds a bird in the garden
It was a Tuesday afternoon, roughly forty-five minutes before I usually cave and put the television on, when Florence trotted up to me holding what appeared to be a very angry, moldy tennis ball. She deposited it directly onto my...
The Truth About Baby Ladybugs (And When Your Kid Eats One)
I was sitting on our patchy backyard lawn in my stained grey sweatpants, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three times since 6 AM, when Maya ate her first bug. She was about eight months old, right...