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Exhausted dad holding a sleeping baby wrapped in a bamboo floral blanket while staring at a smartphone screen in a dark room.

Daniel Caesar's Baby Blue Is My Secret 3 AM Infant Sleep Hack

It’s 3:17 AM, and I’m locked in a staring contest with the glowing red ring of my smart speaker, mentally calculating the exact amount of force required to smash it into a thousand pieces. The hyper-chipper, mechanically synthesized xylophone beat...

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Babyfourth trimesterinfant healthmotherhoodparenting humorteething
Exhausted mom doing bicycle legs with a crying gassy newborn on a playmat

The 3 AM Fart Wars: Real Gas Relief For Miserable Babies

It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm wearing a stretched-out nursing bra that smells faintly of sour milk and desperation, sitting cross-legged on the nursery rug, furiously pumping my three-week-old son's legs like he's trying to win the Tour de France....

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Exhausted mom holding a fussy newborn over her shoulder while looking at a cold cup of coffee

The Honestly Messy Truth On How To Burp A Baby Without Tears

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on your sister’s hideous beige microfiber sectional at 3:14 AM. You're wearing your husband Mike’s stained college sweatpants from 2008, the ones with the hole in the left knee. There's...

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An ultrasound monitor showing a baby in the womb while a mother looks on

How Do Babies Breathe In The Womb? My Midwife Set Me Straight

There I was, twenty weeks pregnant with my oldest, laying on a paper-covered table in a freezing room that smelled distinctly of industrial hand sanitizer and old magazines. The ultrasound tech was aggressively pushing the wand into my bladder when...

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Exhausted mother looking down at a fussy newborn in a dimly lit nursery

The Hey Baby Reality Check For Every Exhausted New Parent

It was 3:14 in the morning and I was standing over a crib trying to negotiate with a swaddled infant who looked like a very angry burrito. The white noise machine was turned up to a volume that probably violated...

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Mother adjusting a linen baby carrier in a messy Chicago apartment

The Happy Baby Carrier Hype Unpacked By A Very Tired Nurse

My mother-in-law warned me that wearing him would ruin his spine. My doula acted like putting him down in a bassinet would permanently damage his attachment style. The mom in my baby yoga class claimed the happy baby brand carrier...

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A tired dad holding a fresh nappy and baby wipes in a dimly lit nursery.

The 3AM Panic: Why Your Baby's Dark Green Poop Is Usually Fine

It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm operating entirely by the pale, depressing glow of my phone's flashlight. The four-minute-older twin has decided that sleeping through the night is a scam invented by adults, and she's communicating this via a...

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A glowing red nightlight on a bedside table next to baby items

What The Baby Baby Justin Bieber Era Taught Me About 3 AM

If you want to know exactly how to make sure your child never, ever goes back to sleep, let me share my foolproof method from the first month of raising twins. When you hear the inevitable 3 AM wail, you...

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baby developmentfamily carefourth trimesterhumorpregnancy tipsultrasound
A blurry 4D ultrasound photo of a baby that looks slightly like an extraterrestrial

When your 4D ultrasound baby alien leaked on the family group chat

The ultrasound gel was freezing, and the sonographer whose name tag said Brenda was pushing the wand into my bladder with the force of a hydraulic press. We were at the 20-week anatomy scan. The monitor in the dark room...

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