Dear Tom: Put down the Sweet Baby Ray's immediately
Dear Tom of six months ago. It's Sunday afternoon, you're standing in the back garden holding a plastic squeeze bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's, and you're about to make a terrible, deeply sticky mistake. I know exactly what you're thinking....
Why I eventually surrendered to similac baby formula at 3 am
I was aggressively shaking a plastic bottle at three in the morning when the lid shot off like a champagne cork. White sticky fluid coated my glasses, the kitchen counter, and my golden retriever, who immediately started licking the cabinets....
What I Wish I Knew About Once Upon a Farm Baby Food
Listen to me, Jess from six months ago. You're standing in the grocery store aisle with three kids hanging off the cart, staring at a little mini-fridge section that definitely wasn't there when you had your first baby. You're tired,...
My Brutally Honest Review of Little Spoon Baby Food Deliveries
I'm standing in an unfamiliar kitchen in Chicago at six in the morning, holding a plastic tub of green sludge that claims to contain spirulina, chia, and something called a 'dragon fruit.' My twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, are rhythmically...
When Do Babies Start Eating Baby Food? A Twin Dad's Messy Guide
Dear Tom of eighteen months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3am, staring at a very expensive, totally unused baby food maker, frantically typing misspelled queries like "when do I feed my babi" into your phone with one...
Why Babies Hiccup Constantly (And How to Actually Troubleshoot)
I was holding a plastic spoon with exactly one drop of literal hot sauce on it while my wife Sarah stared at me from the rocking chair like I had lost my mind. My mother-in-law had just texted me a...
The Great Lentil Smear: Iron Rich Foods for Babies Explained
I'm currently standing in my kitchen, staring at a beige splatter on the ceiling that used to be a highly nutritious, iron-fortified chicken and white bean puree, wondering where my journalism career went so spectacularly wrong. Twin A (Florence) is...
The absolute physical reality of raising a genuinely big baby
I'm standing in the middle of our dimly lit bedroom, sweating through a t-shirt, attempting to pull a cotton sleepsuit over my daughter's left thigh. The label, stitched with mocking delicacy, reads 'Up to 1 Month'. As I try to...
Why The Great Baby Oatmeal Cereal Incident Finally Broke My Spirit
It's 11:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm staring at a perfectly spherical glob of beige paste slowly sliding down my otherwise immaculate kitchen window. It hangs there for a moment, defying gravity, before dropping directly onto the cat's head....