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The kriss_baby_ Webcam Hack: Unplugging Our Nursery Wi-Fi Camera
I was standing in Leoβs nursery at 2:14 AM wearing a pair of Dave's stretched-out boxer briefs and a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and utter desperation, holding a chunk of painted drywall in my left hand....
The Great UPPAbaby Vista Debate: Is the V3 Upgrade Actually Better?
"Buy the Vista," my lead developer told me in the Slack channel where we usually complain about server loads. "It's the luxury SUV of strollers." Three minutes later, my sister-in-law texted: "Don't buy that massive thing, it's a total waste...
What I Wish I Knew About the VAVA Baby Monitor
Listen. I know you're sitting on the edge of the glider right now, staring at a frozen smartphone app while your six-month-old cries in the other room. It's 3 AM in Chicago. The radiator is hissing. Your Wi-Fi router just...
The Sweaty, Stressful Reality of Baby Car Travel and Seat Safety
I was heavily pregnant with my second, sweating completely through my maternity tank top in a Target parking lot in the middle of July, trying to rip an infant seat base out of my husband's truck so I could move...
The Search Query That Completely Ruined My Tuesday Night
My thumbs were hovering over the search bar at 3:14 AM, the harsh glare of my smartphone illuminating the spit-up stain on my shoulder. I was just trying to buy clothes. Specifically, I wanted our 11-month-old son to look less...
Why Diaper Tape Fails When Your Tiny Infant Becomes A Toddler
3:14 AM. The bathroom tiles are freezing. Mark is standing there holding his phone, looking absolutely bewildered, while intense, bass-heavy Russian hip-hop blasts out of his tiny phone speaker. He was literally just trying to google "big baby tape" to...
Debugging The 90s Plush Stash: The Great Beanie Baby Tag Dilemma
I was sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor at 10 AM on a Saturday, entirely surrounded by a 30-gallon plastic storage bin of my childhood. My mom had just dropped off the "archives," grinning like she had just unburdened herself...
Why Badfinger Baby Blue Soundtracked My Postpartum Breakdown
The microwave clock in our kitchen glared a neon 3:14 AM, and my husband, bless his sweet but entirely useless heart in that specific moment, decided the absolute best way to get our screaming firstborn to sleep was by blasting...
The ugly truth about that cute baby pool float you just bought
My sister-in-law's backyard in Naperville smells intensely of expensive mineral sunscreen and chlorine. It's mid-July, the humidity is oppressive, and I'm standing at the edge of the water holding a thrashing nine-month-old. My mother-in-law is hovering nearby, aggressively trying to...