Magazine
The Absolute Truth About Dosing Baby Fever Medicine at 3 AM
I used to think that if Maya was six months old, she just automatically got the "six-month" squirt of medicine. Like it was a shoe size or a milestone. I vividly remember standing in our tiny galley kitchen in our...
How I Abandoned Indie Music to Become a Human Jukebox for Twins
Somewhere around the eighty-fourth consecutive rendition of The Wheels on the Bus, you experience a big sort of ego death. I was standing in the kitchen at 6am, wearing a t-shirt entirely crusted in dried porridge, aggressively miming the swish-swish-swish...
Surviving the Modern Baby Shower: Themes, Rules, and Absurdities
My mother-in-law insisted we needed a hired tea service with crustless cucumber sandwiches, my mate Paul told me to just book the back room at The Crown and put some crisps in a bowl, and an American lifestyle blog I...
The Chaotic Truth About Finding Brilliant Baby Shower Dresses
Dear Tom of six months prior to the twins' arrival. You're currently standing outside the changing rooms at a high-street maternity shop, holding a lukewarm flat white, waiting for Sarah to emerge. You've been here for forty-five minutes. You think...
The Truth About Baby Shower Decorations (And That Balloon Arch)
I was thirty-two weeks pregnant with my oldest, sitting flat on my kitchen floor, and ugly-crying into a pile of deflated sage green balloons. My husband had just walked in from work, taken one look at me holding a dual-action...
The 3AM Kitchen Intruder: Dealing With Baby Roaches
It was 3:14 AM, and I was doing something I explicitly knew I shouldn't be doing. Maya, who's two years old but possesses the demanding palate of a Michelin-star food critic, refused to go back to sleep unless her milk...
Finding a Baby Pigeon: A Very Stressed Dad's Guide to Bird Rescue
It was a Tuesday afternoon, raining with that specific type of London spite that bypasses your waterproofs entirely, when Maya marched into the kitchen holding what appeared to be a damp, breathing loofah. She dumped it unceremoniously next to the...
Let's discuss the absolute madness of those santa baby lyrics
It was 4:13 PM on a Tuesday in mid-December. The sky over London had been a bruised, miserable purple since lunchtime, and inside the flat, the twins were orchestrating what I can only describe as a coordinated assault on our...
Secrets Baby Beach Aruba: The Midnight Hotel Panic
It was 2:14 AM, and I was wearing a fleece bathrobe over a maternity bathing suit top because my four-month-old, Leo, had just spit up breastmilk all over my favorite oversized college tee. My husband Dave was snoring in the...