Magazine
Living With The Boss Baby: Sleep, Siblings, And Your Sanity
There's a massive, glittering lie floating around pregnancy message boards that newborns sleep eighteen hours a day, and I just need to laugh hysterically at that for a second. Picture me at 3:17 AM last Tuesday, standing on the cold...
What Three Wise Men and a Baby Gets Right About Real Parenting
My mom told me to keep him wrapped up tight in a heavy blanket so he wouldn't catch a draft. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, insisted he needed to "breathe" in the ninety-degree Texas heat and tried to strip him...
When Do Babies Get Teeth? A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the tactical flashlight. She is not going to let you look in her mouth, and shining a 1000-lumen beam at a five-month-old's face at 2 AM is exactly why your wife is...
A Letter To My Past Self: When Do Babies Start Rolling Over?
Dear Tom of October 2022, You're currently sitting on the floor of the living room, drinking lukewarm instant coffee and staring at Florence and Matilda. They're roughly fourteen weeks old. They're on their backs. They have been on their backs...
Debugging Gravity: When Do Babies Start Sitting Up Usually?
It's currently 7:14 PM, and I'm building a fortress of couch cushions around my eleven-month-old daughter on our living room rug. She is folded entirely in half, staring intensely at a piece of lint she found near the coffee table....
First Steps and Bruised Knees: A Twin Dad's Guide to Walking
I used to think there was a specific, magical day when it happened. I genuinely believed that sometime around their first birthday, Iβd be sitting on the sofa with a lukewarm coffee, and one of the twins would simply stand...
The Truth About Zara Baby: Sizing, Shrinking, And Alternatives
When I was pregnant with my first, everybody and their mother had an opinion on how to dress a baby. My own mom, bless her heart, dragged me to the department store and loaded my cart with neon orange monkey...
The Truth About Finding Your Kid's Beanie Baby Birthday Twin
The biggest myth about millennial parenting is that our childhood artifacts belong in our babies' mouths. You see it on social media constantly. A perfectly filtered, beige nursery. A pristine six-month-old sitting on a linen rug. And in their chubby...
Nostalgia and Reality: Hiring Your First Sitter
I'm standing in my kitchen, wearing a nursing bra stained with something yellow, staring at a sixteen-year-old named Chloe who just asked me if babies can eat grapes whole. This was my first attempt at hiring a baby sitter. I...