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A letter to past me about teething jewellery for mums
Dear Marcus of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the beige nursery rug at 3:14 AM. The thermostat is set to exactly 68.5 degrees. Sarah is attempting to nurse the baby, actively wincing because a tiny, razor-sharp fingernail is...
The 11-month beta test of our bamboo crib blanket
3:14 AM. The Nanit camera app says the nursery is exactly 69.4 degrees, but when I reach into the bassinet, my daughter's neck feels like a laptop running too many Chrome tabs. She's sticky. She's thrashing. She's three months old...
The Honest Truth About Newborn Short Sleeve Onesies And Blowouts
My oldest son, Hunterβbless his heart, he was my practice childβwas exactly four days old when he projectile vomited partially digested breastmilk directly into the hood of a tiny, forty-five-dollar bear-eared sweater my great-aunt bought him. I remember standing in...
The Great Baby Bowl Delusion: What I Expected vs What Works
It was a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sitting on my kitchen floor wearing a gray nursing tank that smelled vaguely of sour milk, crying over a puddle of pulverized sweet potato. Leo was six months old. He was...
The Case For The Black Baby Onesie And Retaining Your Sanity
At 2:14 PM on a damp Tuesday, exactly three weeks into fatherhood, I found myself trying to extract a screaming infant from a pair of miniature, stiff denim jeans. Florence (or maybe Mabel, the sleep deprivation had completely blurred their...
The Engineering of Baby Fall Clothes: A Portland Dad's Guide
7:14 AM. The air in our Portland backyard smells like wet pine needles and coffee. It's exactly 48 degrees outside, but the weather app promises it'll hit a balmy 71 by three o'clock. I'm standing on the porch staring at...
How To Actually Use The Mountain Of Plush Baby Blankets You Got
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, sitting on the heavy rug of our two-bedroom apartment in Logan Square, staring at a mountain of fleece. The baby shower was over. My aunties had left, taking their tupperware and well-meaning unsolicited advice with...
Dear Past Me: The Brutal Truth About That Knitted Newborn Outfit
You're currently standing in the maternity ward at St. Thomas' Hospital, desperately trying to fold a flailing, furious five-pound infant into a miniature Aran jumper while a midwife named Brenda watches you with undisguised pity. You're sweating. The baby is...
Geschenke fΓΌr 1-JΓ€hrige: Honest First Birthday Gifts You Need
My mom called me the week before my oldest turned one and proudly announced she was buying him one of those plastic sit-in walkers so he could chase the dog around the kitchen. Two hours later, my crunchy sister-in-law texted...