Magazine

Confused dad looking at a baby playing with wooden toys on a floor rug

Troubleshooting The Real Cosmic Powers Of Your Own Human Infant

At my sister's backyard barbecue last weekend, three different people gave me completely contradictory advice about my son's biological capabilities within a ten-minute window. My uncle told me to just drop the kid in the deep end of the pool...

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Marcus holding an 11-month-old baby next to a smartphone showing a viral internet meme

The Fat Chinese Baby Meme and My Newborn Overfeeding Panic

I'm sitting in the dark at 2:14 AM, the harsh glow of my smartphone illuminating a fresh patch of spit-up on my gray hoodie. My 11-month-old son is asleep in his crib, breathing perfectly normally, while I'm deep-diving into the...

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Mom holding a slightly feverish baby and checking temperature with a digital thermometer

The Late-Night Panic: When to Actually Worry About Your Baby's Fever

It's two in the morning and your hand is hovering over your sleeping kid's forehead like a malfunctioning drone. You finally make contact. They feel hot. Not just warm, but radiating heat like the exposed pipe in my old Wrigleyville...

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A dad looking exhausted while his baby plays with a plastic electronic toy

My Honest Review of the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Baby Toys

"Buy the talking dog, it taught your cousin to count," my mom texted me on a Tuesday morning while I was trying to compile code. "Don't let that plastic nightmare into your house, it'll literally nuke his dopamine receptors," my...

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A pile of brand new infant sneakers and soft booties dumped out of a storage bin onto a nursery rug.

Why Parents Keep Posting For Sale Baby Shoes Never Worn Online

I'm currently sitting on the floor of Leo’s closet. It’s Tuesday, somewhere around 11 AM, and I'm wearing a faded college t-shirt that smells vaguely of sour milk and desperation. I've an iced coffee next to me that was hot...

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Tired mom holding a baby bottle while looking at measuring lines in the kitchen

Formula Milk For Baby 0-6 Months Quantity: A Real Mom's Guide

I was standing in my kitchen at 2:14 AM with my oldest son, Carter, squinting at the tiny faded red lines on the side of a plastic bottle under the microwave light. I had formula powder literally stuck to my...

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Two toddlers looking highly suspicious in their organic cotton bodysuits

The Four Seasons Orlando Baby and Other Internet Lies

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo while Florence tries to forcefully feed a damp oatcake to the Wi-Fi router. Matilda is sitting on the rug, entirely naked from the waist down, staring at...

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A dad holding two babies looking exhausted but happy

Freddie Gibbs Baby Mama Gossip vs. The Reality of Fatherhood

Before the twins arrived, I received three distinct pieces of advice about the impending transition to fatherhood. My postman, Terry, told me to sleep while I still could (it's physically impossible to bank sleep in advance, Terry, but thanks for...

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A tired dad looking at a soggy mountain of cardboard baby registry boxes on a rainy porch.

Surviving the Free Baby Box Hustle: A Dad's Tracker

It was 7:42 PM on a Tuesday, raining sideways in typical Portland fashion, and I was standing on my porch staring at a pile of soggy cardboard that made my house look like a localized fulfillment center. My neighbor gave...

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