Magazine

Tired dad holding twin baby girls while trying to read a parenting book

My Fictional Gangster Baby Daddy and the Reality of Co-Parenting

When we first found out we were having twins, the unsolicited advice arrived with the speed and aggression of a flock of London pigeons spotting a dropped chip. Three different people gave me entirely contradictory instructions on how to handle...

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A dusty 90s plush bear sitting next to a modern organic silicone baby teether

The Truth About The Most Expensive Beanie Babies

I'm sitting on the concrete floor of my parents' garage in the Chicago suburbs, sneezing thirty years of dust out of my nose. In front of me is a massive plastic storage bin labeled with my name and the phrase...

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Mom adjusting the straps on a newborn with low muscle tone in a car seat

Stop Saying Mongoloid Baby: Real Talk About Down Syndrome

I was sweating straight through my maternity leggings in the back of our Honda Odyssey, crying so hard I couldn’t see the buckles. It was August in rural Texas, which is basically the surface of the sun, and we hadn’t...

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Stressed mom holding a remote control looking shocked at the TV screen

Dear Past Jess: Please Do Not Put On That Million Dollar Baby Film

Dear exhausted Jess from six months ago, You’re currently sitting on the beige sectional that smells vaguely of sour milk and desperation. It's raining sideways here in rural Texas, your Etsy shop orders are backed up to the moon, and...

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A tired dad holding a baby while looking at his smartphone in a dark room.

Why That Megan Fox Post-Baby Appearance Made Me Lose My Mind

The glowing numbers on the microwave read 3:14 AM, which I know because I had just logged a massive diaper blowout into our shared baby app using my left thumb while suspending my screaming four-month-old over the sink with my...

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Tired dad holding a smartphone while twin toddlers play in the background

The Mason Disick Baby Hoax and My Massive Digital Parenting Panic

My mum told me on Tuesday that if I ever post another photo of the girls online, criminals on the dark web will steal their identities and open credit cards in their names. A bloke I vaguely know from the...

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A tired mom holding a coffee mug while adjusting a beige linen carrier

Dear Sarah: The Truth About The Viral Mabe Baby Carrier

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're sitting on the living room rug in those embarrassing gray maternity leggings you absolutely refuse to throw out, staring at a pile of beige linen and black buckles. You're on your third...

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A tired dad looking at a smartphone screen in horror while holding a teether

Why Searching For loser baby lyrics Is A Parenting Trap

My mother-in-law insisted I needed to pipe classical symphonies into the nursery to raise certified geniuses, the bloke who makes my flat whites swore by 90s West Coast hip-hop to build 'rhythmic resilience', and my NHS health visitor gently suggested...

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Twin babies covered in sweet potato puree looking extremely pleased with themselves

My Brutally Honest Review of Little Spoon Baby Food Deliveries

I'm standing in an unfamiliar kitchen in Chicago at six in the morning, holding a plastic tub of green sludge that claims to contain spirulina, chia, and something called a 'dragon fruit.' My twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, are rhythmically...

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