The Truth About Buying Utility Pants for Boys Without Losing Your Mind
There was a rhythm to my washing machine yesterday that sounded exactly like a handful of gravel tumbling around in a metal drum. Because it was a handful of gravel. I had forgotten to check the pockets of my middle...
Minka Kelly's Memoir and the Parenting Bugs We Can't Fix
Don't, under any circumstances, ask your postpartum wife if she's crying because the Wi-Fi dropped while she's reading in the dark. I learned this at exactly 3:14 AM last Tuesday. The eerie blue glow of her Kindle was illuminating the...
Reality TV Night Nannies and the 3AM Panic of Keeping Humans Alive
It's currently 3:14 AM. I've a cold, half-eaten chocolate digestive in my dressing gown pocket, and I'm locked in a tense negotiation with a two-year-old about why we can't eat the dog's ear drops. In the background, my phone screen...
The Hospital Wi-Fi Stalled Our Magic Baby Names
The fluorescent light in room 412 of Providence Hospital had this specific 60-hertz hum that was drilling directly into my sleep-deprived prefrontal cortex. I had a lukewarm, terrible cafeteria coffee in one hand and a state-mandated birth certificate form in...
Why googling "Luna baby" at 3 AM is actually a terrible idea
I'm sitting on the cold, hexagonal tile of my master bathroom floor, and it's exactly 3:14 AM. I know it's 3:14 AM because the glowing red numbers on the digital clock Dave insisted we put in there are glaring at...
JD Vance baby: The messy truth about waiting for the perfect time
Listen. It's 3 AM. The radiator in our Chicago apartment sounds like a dying car engine, and my toddler has decided sleep is an offensive concept. I'm sitting in the dark, watching my phone screen illuminate the spit-up stain on...
The Beautiful, Chaotic Reality of Having an IVF Baby in London
It was 10:47 PM on a rainy Tuesday in London, and I was carefully shuffling a half-eaten block of Cathedral City cheddar and some slightly sad-looking kale to make room for roughly four thousand quid's worth of hormonal injectables. That's...
What I Wish I Knew About the VAVA Baby Monitor
Listen. I know you're sitting on the edge of the glider right now, staring at a frozen smartphone app while your six-month-old cries in the other room. It's 3 AM in Chicago. The radiator is hissing. Your Wi-Fi router just...
What Is a Trust Fund Baby? Building Real Wealth for Your Kids
I was sitting at my kitchen table last Tuesday, sorting through a chaotic stack of shipping labels for my Etsy shop, when I caught my oldest son trying to feed a twenty-dollar bill to the dog. This is the same...