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The Engineering of Baby Fall Clothes: A Portland Dad's Guide
7:14 AM. The air in our Portland backyard smells like wet pine needles and coffee. It's exactly 48 degrees outside, but the weather app promises it'll hit a balmy 71 by three o'clock. I'm standing on the porch staring at...
Why a Womens Ringer Tee is Actually Medical Grade Mom Gear
I was scraping dried sweet potato off my shoulder with a lukewarm baby wipe when I finally accepted the truth about maternal fashion. The internet feeds us this massive, glittering lie that modern motherhood requires a closet full of high-tech,...
Why Traditional Toddler Rompers Are Actually A Complete Nightmare
I'm balancing my lukewarm iced vanilla latte on the edge of the incredibly questionable diaper changing station in the Target family restroom while my then two-and-a-half-year-old, Maya, is doing the frantic, knee-knocking pee dance. She is wearing this absolutely precious,...
The huge family blanket mistake we made (and what actually works)
It's exactly 3:14 AM and I'm sitting in the dark nursery wearing sweatpants that haven't been washed since Tuesday and a faded Nirvana t-shirt that smells vaguely of sour milk, stale coffee, and total desperation. Maya is maybe seven months...
The Great Infant Romper Lie And What Actually Keeps Babies Cool
I was standing in the emergency room triage bay during a brutal Chicago heatwave when I realized most parents have no idea how to dress a child. The smell of antiseptic was giving me a headache. A frantic mother carried...
Why I Stopped Buying Cheap Joke Shirts For My Kids
I was sweating through my own nursing tank, trying to wrestle my oldest sonβwho was basically built like a sack of bowling balls at four months oldβinto a stiff neon green shirt my brother-in-law bought him. It said "I Only...
The brutal truth about picking a safe baby blanket pattern
My mother-in-law was so proud of the mint green monstrosity she pulled out of her floral gift bag at my baby shower. It had tassels. It had three-dimensional pom-poms. It had a crochet baby blanket pattern with holes large enough...
Why I Traded Tiny Jeans for Bubble Rompers (And Never Looked Back)
I was sweating through my t-shirt in the Target parking lot, desperately trying to yank a pair of size 3-month rigid denim skinny jeans over my oldest daughter's delightfully chunky thighs while she screamed like a banshee. I'm just gonna...
The Great Mini-Adult Wardrobe Lie and Other Winter Baby Truths
My husband Mark was holding Maya like she was an unexploded bomb, sweat literally beading on his forehead, while I tried to aggressively shove her tiny, raw-noodle arm into the sleeve of a mustard yellow cable-knit pullover. She was three...