Magazine

A baby chewing on a silicone panda teether while sitting on a playmat.

The Brutal Truth About Buying Safe Non Toxic Teethers Today

Your mother-in-law is convinced the baby's 102-degree fever and explosive blowout are just teething signs. I've seen a thousand of these exact cases roll through the pediatric triage desk, usually accompanied by a panicked parent holding a drool-soaked infant at...

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A wooden baby rattle next to a digital caliper and a cold cup of coffee

Dear Marcus: Stop Buying Loud Plastic Toys and Read This

Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're standing in the dark hallway of your Portland bungalow, clutching a lukewarm bottle of formula, staring at a flashing plastic boombox toy that's aggressively singing "I'M...

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Two toddlers attempting to eat a wooden block while a tired dad watches

A Letter to Past Me About the Reality of Wooden Toys

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently standing in the nursery, aggressively arranging a set of aesthetically pleasing, neutral-toned blocks on a floating shelf. You're exhausted, operating on perhaps four cumulative hours of sleep, but you're deeply smug. You've...

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A chewed up wooden baby rattle sitting next to a half empty mug of cold coffee

The Truth About Babyspielzeug Holz And Keeping Your Baby Safe

When I was pregnant with Maya, my mother-in-law cornered me at my baby shower holding a terrifying, neon plastic saxophone that played a high-pitched, vaguely demonic version of 'Old MacDonald' and told me it was the best toy ever because...

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A heavily chewed organic cotton bunny lovey resting on a crib mattress.

The Absolute Truth About Your Toddler and Their Blanket Bunny

Some mom in Lincoln Park is currently telling me her ten-month-old doesn't need "props" to self-soothe while we stand by the infant swings. She is wearing cashmere to a playground. Her kid is actively gnawing on a literal piece of...

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A wooden and silicone bunny teether toy sitting on a coffee table next to a baby monitor.

Decoding the Bunny Teether: Why This Specific Shape Actually Works

"Put a wet washcloth in the freezer," my mother told me on a Tuesday. "Rub a tiny drop of whiskey on his gums," my uncle suggested on Wednesday. "You need a raw Baltic amber necklace to align his electromagnetic field,"...

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Maya screaming in a stroller while I hold a dropped buggy spielzeug and a spilled coffee

The Buggy Spielzeug Survival Guide (Because I Almost Lost It)

I was sweating through a grey Zara sweater that honestly already smelled like old milk, standing outside a bakery on a Tuesday in April. It was raining, naturally. Maya was ten months old and doing that back-arching scream that makes...

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A tired dad holding a silicone pacifier case while reading a contract on his laptop

Demystifying the Brand Ambassador Job Description for Parents

The biggest myth the internet ever sold to my generation is that getting paid to post baby photos is easy money. Currently, I'm hiding in our hallway with my laptop balanced precariously on a laundry basket because my eleven-month-old is...

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