How I Finally Decoded My 11-Month-Old's I Love You Baby Signals
Itβs 3:14 AM, and the hallway floorboards are creaking under my exact, heavily mapped pacing route. Heβs arching his back like heβs trying to bridge a network connection with the ceiling, and my brain is completely empty of any actual,...
Dear Past Me: Surviving The First Year And That Lil Baby Age
Dear Sarah from six months agoβ Actually, wait. No. Maya is seven and Leo is four now. So writing a letter to myself from six months ago would just be me aggressively telling myself to buy more coffee before the...
Why I Dropped Three Hundred Bucks on a Newton Baby Mattress
When I was pregnant with my second kid, I stood in the middle of the Target baby aisle having a full-blown existential crisis while three different people texted me completely contradictory advice about where my child should sleep. My mom,...
The Morbid Truth About Rock a Bye Baby and Why It Still Works
Don't open up a search engine at three in the morning to research the origins of nursery rhymes while bouncing a screaming infant. It's a terrible idea that only leads to weird historical rabbit holes and more anxiety. I know...
The Baby Owl Bug: Sleep Hacks, Separation Panic and Bird Law
My mom told me on Tuesday to just let him cry it out because he's testing my authority, which is hilarious because he's eleven months old and mostly communicates by blowing raspberries at the dog. On Wednesday, our ultra-crunchy Portland...
System Meltdown: A Clueless Dad's Guide to Surviving Colic in Babies
I was bouncing on a half-inflated yoga ball at 140 beats per minute, frantically whispering "shhh" while my five-week-old son screamed so aggressively his face looked like a boiled lobster. My Apple Watch buzzed to congratulate me on my intense...
Babies Breath: How Do Babies Breathe in the Womb & Real Life
"You just wait until they take their first breath out here," my mother-in-law told me at my baby shower, casually stirring her sweet tea. "Before that, they just hold it for nine whole months." Bless her heart, she was dead...
Surviving The Sleep Sack Baby Phase Without Losing Your Mind
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday, because time doesn't actually exist when you've a newborn. I was wearing a faded sorority t-shirt from 2008 that had a mysterious, crusty spit-up stain on the shoulder, and I...
The Cry Baby Cast Reality Check: Screen Time vs Real Tears
When my son hit six weeks old, my mother-in-law told me to rub brandy on his gums. My neighbor swore by putting him in a vibrating chair on top of a running washing machine. The doctor suggested I just put...