Why most baby rings belong in the trash and the gear you actually need
I was scrolling social media at two in the morning while nursing a furious six-month-old when I saw it. A literal infant floating in a bathtub with an inflatable plastic inner tube strapped around his neck. The caption said something...
Dear Tom: Put down the baby neck float and step away from Instagram
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently perched on the edge of the downstairs loo at 2am, hiding from the twins, staring bleary-eyed at your phone. The Instagram algorithm, sensing your big exhaustion and desperation for a quiet life,...
Why baby jane bourbon is a childproofing nightmare
When my son's first tooth started aggressively pushing its way through his lower gums last month, I received three distinct pieces of troubleshooting advice. My dad, operating on legacy parenting code from 1989, told me to just rub a drop...
The Kitchen Island Incident: Rethinking the Baby Floor Seat
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday. I had a P1 server outage flashing red on my left monitor, lukewarm cold brew in my system, and a 4.5-month-old stationed on the kitchen island right next to my keyboard. I had...
Dear past Jess: Put the eucalyptus baby blue plant down now
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing in the floral section at H-E-B, balancing a squirming six-month-old on your hip while your toddler tries to systematically crush every bag of tortilla chips in the next aisle. You look...
Tracking Down a December 9th Beanie Baby is Total Madness
It started, as most of my parenting anxieties do, with a casual comment over a lukewarm flat white. When the twins were approaching their birthday, my mother-in-law declared I simply had to find a plush toy with their exact birth...
Choosing safe gold earrings studs for babies without panicking
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen with a pair of twenty-two karat hoops, telling me it was tradition and that I was overthinking it. A few hours later, my old charge nurse texted me to say that piercing a...
The Truth About Gifting an October 24th Birthday Twin
My mother-in-law unzipped her floral weekender bag and pulled out a vacuum-sealed plastic pouch with the solemnity of someone handling a transplant organ. Inside was a slightly crushed, orange and black plush cat. She had spent three weeks scouring the...
The Unexpected Hazard of Press-On Nails During the Baby Years
I was on my hands and knees in the living room, aggressively parting the fibres of our Berber rug like a forensic investigator looking for a microscopic weapon. Chloe, my sister-in-law, hovered above me near the sofa, clutching a lukewarm...