In Which Week Baby Gender is Developed: My Ultrasound Data Log
I was literally holding my phone up to the ultrasound monitor at week twelve, trying to overlay a digital protractor app onto the blurry gray static on the screen. "If the angle of the genital tubercle is greater than 30...
How Many Baby Mommas Does Elon Musk Have: A 3AM Parenting Spiral
What you absolutely shouldn't do when your 11-month-old is actively trying to chew through your MacBook power cord at three in the morning is fall down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about billionaire reproduction. But there I was, sitting on the...
The Truth About Ugly Baby Gear and Why I Stopped Caring
I was standing in the Target parking lot in mid-December, wearing black maternity leggings that were literally falling down because my postpartum body was in that weird, deflated balloon phase, and I was sobbing aggressively. Like, ugly, loud, snorting sobs....
Debugging the Baby Brezza Bottle Sterilizer: An Honest Dad Review
At 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, I was standing over a pot of violently boiling water with a pair of silicone salad tongs, trying to fish out a breast pump flange without melting my fingerprints off. My wife was...
The brutal truth about buying a stroller and car seat travel system
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery surrounded by cardboard boxes and packing styrofoam. You're quietly crying because the plastic adapters for the infant car seat don't seem to fit the stroller...
Why My Designer Tote Almost Ruined My Spine (And What I Pack Now)
It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I'm sitting in the front seat of my Honda CR-V in a Target parking lot, sobbing into a half-eaten sleeve of stale graham crackers. Maya is three months old. I'm wearing...
The Medical Illusion of Your Scheduled Baby Arrival Timeline
I was sitting at the pediatric triage desk with a lukewarm chai in a foam cup when a woman waddled in, practically vibrating with panic. She was holding a crumpled ultrasound printout and crying because she was forty weeks and...
Surviving the Baby Blue Bronco: A Parent's Guide to Tiny SUVs
Don't, under any circumstances, let a targeted social media algorithm convince you that buying a compact, retro-styled off-roader will somehow resurrect your pre-parenting coolness. I'm currently typing this with my kneecaps firmly wedged against the glovebox of what I can...
Surviving 3 AM Hotel Disasters With The Baby Bjorn Travel Crib
I'm standing in my Marks & Spencer boxers in a freezing Cotswolds holiday cottage at 3:14 AM, trying to silently reconstruct a borrowed travel cot that weighs roughly the same as a small Fiat. It's a generic, heavily branded brick...