The Firmware Update on Rice Cereal For Babies and First Foods
I was standing in aisle four of our local Portland New Seasons market, staring blankly at a cardboard box of beige dust, desperately checking the version history on baby feeding protocols. My 11-month-old was securely strapped to my chest, actively...
The Sachin Babi Dress Red Tag Incident & Occasionwear Survival
My wife Sarah was standing in the middle of our disaster-zone living room, holding a pair of kitchen shears perilously close to a massive, glaringly obvious red security tag, while Florence (twin A, the escape artist) was actively attempting to...
What nobody tells you about babies and the great sugar debate
I was standing in my kitchen last Thanksgiving, elbow-deep in a massive pot of mashed potatoes, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mom unwrapping a little caramel log. She was aiming it right at my...
Finding the Calm in the Chaos with a Sweet Baby James Lullaby
I was standing in my oldest son's nursery at 3:14 in the morning, wearing a nursing tank top that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, violently swaying back and forth. Three weeks prior, at my beautifully curated baby shower,...
There Goes My Baby: Surviving the Absurdity of the Newborn Phase
I'm standing in our freezing London kitchen at 4:12 in the morning, holding what appears to be a very angry, red-faced sweet potato wrapped in a slightly damp muslin cloth, when my phone, completely unprompted, shuffles to an R&B playlist...
Teething Nightmares, 90s Nostalgia, and the Vanilla Ice Ice Ice Baby
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and our kitchen floor was aggressively cold. Maya was six months old and shrieking like a tiny, angry banshee because her bottom left tooth was trying to break through her gums with the...
What Is Baby Led Weaning? My Messy, Honest Survival Story
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a gray nursing tank that smelled faintly of sour milk and desperation. I was standing in the middle of my kitchen, holding a giant, freshly steamed floret of broccoli...
When Can Babies Eat Baby Food? A Dad's Guide To The Mess
It was 5:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor, using a single wet wipe to scrape what used to be a premium organic avocado off the skirting board. Above me, my twin daughters...
That 3am cough, the sticky spoon, and the great honey panic
It was 3:14 in the morning, rain was battering the living room windows of our London flat, and Twin A was barking like a chain-smoking seal. Twin B, not to be outdone by her sister's theatrics, had started a sort...