Reading Detransition Baby Changed How I Look at Modern Motherhood
I'm literally sitting on my hideous green velvet sofa at 5:43 AM, aggressively scrubbing a splotch of hardened spit-up off the crinkly plastic dust jacket of a library book. I'm wearing my husband Markβs oversized college sweatpantsβthe ones with a...
Why the Baby Dijon Trend is the Most Honest Look at Parenthood Yet
I was sitting on my bathroom floor at 2 AM last Tuesday with my third kid, staring blankly at the grout lines while my phone sat in the sink to amplify the sound. I was listening to the new Dijon...
I Cried In A Baby Clothing Store, Then A Blowout Ruined My Haul
It was 3:14 in the morning, and the mustard-yellow explosion had breached the diaper, traveled up my firstbornβs back, and was making a steady, terrifying march toward his neckline. I was operating on maybe forty minutes of broken sleep, standing...
Dear Past Priya: The Ugly Truth About Buying Baby Boots
Dear Priya from last November. You're currently wedged between the radiator and the front door of our Chicago apartment, sweating completely through your shirt. You're trying to wrestle a screaming nine-month-old into a tiny fleece snowsuit while staring at a...
The 3 AM Blowout That Made Me Rethink Gerber Baby Clothes
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, the ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 61.5 degrees, and I was staring at a structural failure of catastrophic proportions. The containment vessel had breached. My eleven-month-old son, who was supposed to...
The 3AM Panic: Why Your Baby's Dark Green Poop Is Usually Fine
It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm operating entirely by the pale, depressing glow of my phone's flashlight. The four-minute-older twin has decided that sleeping through the night is a scam invented by adults, and she's communicating this via a...
Dear Past Priya: The Goldie Baby Method For Maternal Burnout
Dear Priya from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the bath mat in our freezing Chicago apartment, staring at the crooked grout lines while your son screams on the other side of the door. The e baby monitor...
A Nurse's Guide to the Infant Holiday Wardrobe Trap
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last December holding a miniature polyester tuxedo complete with a clip-on bowtie and tiny suspenders. She fully expected my four-month-old to wear this structural engineering marvel to our family dinner. I spent five...
My brutally honest guide to your baby store near me search
I was thirty-seven weeks pregnant, sweating profusely through a thin maternity top in a strip mall off the Kennedy Expressway. I had just desperately typed a search for the closest local baby shop into my phone, completely convinced that walking...