Magazine

Vintage plush toy sitting next to a modern wooden baby gym

The Truth About Finding Your Kid's Beanie Baby Birthday Twin

The biggest myth about millennial parenting is that our childhood artifacts belong in our babies' mouths. You see it on social media constantly. A perfectly filtered, beige nursery. A pristine six-month-old sitting on a linen rug. And in their chubby...

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A teenager playing with a baby on a playmat in a living room

Nostalgia and Reality: Hiring Your First Sitter

I'm standing in my kitchen, wearing a nursing bra stained with something yellow, staring at a sixteen-year-old named Chloe who just asked me if babies can eat grapes whole. This was my first attempt at hiring a baby sitter. I...

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Two tiny baby jordans scattered across a messy living room floor next to a chewed silicone teether

Dear Past Tom: The Expensive, Absurd Reality of Baby Jordans

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sweating through your grey t-shirt, pinning Florence between your knees while attempting to force her inexplicably square, fleshy foot into a miniature, stiff leather basketball shoe. She's screaming as if you've suggested...

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The truth about surviving the baby groot merchandise invasion

I was elbow-deep under the sofa cushions on a Tuesday morning, executing a routine sweep for rogue Cheerios and whatever sticky substance had claimed the TV remote, when my fingers brushed against something hard, plastic, and distinctly anatomical. I pulled...

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Toddler girl wearing a comfortable organic cotton babydoll dress playing in the grass

Why Babydoll Dresses Are Secretly a Parent's Best Friend

It’s ninety-five degrees in East Texas, and my mother-in-law is trying to shoehorn my oldest child into a stiff, tulle monstrosity that looks like a wedding cake exploded. My kid is screaming like a feral cat in a church pew....

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Tired mom holding a sleeping baby in a bamboo wrap doing a crossword puzzle

Dear Exhausted Jess: The Baby Beluga Magic You Need Right Now

Dear Jess from six months ago. You're sobbing into a sour-smelling burp cloth right now. It's 3:14 AM. The baby is doing that rigid-plank scream that makes your own spine ache, the toddler is asleep in the hallway for some...

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Three men looking confused while holding a baby and baby gear

What a 1980s Movie Taught Me About Dads and Newborns

Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of your Honda Odyssey in a Starbucks parking lot. You're wearing those black Lululemon leggings that have an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left thigh, clutching an iced...

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A toddler with a front tooth gap wearing organic clothes while holding a silicone teether.

My Guide to Every Type of Gap Baby You Will Actually Encounter

I was sitting on the sticky linoleum floor of the Woodfield Mall family restroom when the reality of my life choices hit me. My toddler was screaming at a decibel level that usually triggers a code blue on a pediatric...

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A tired mom holding coffee looking at a baby sleeping safely on their back on an organic cotton playmat.

Why the Baby Got Back Lyrics Actually Make Terrible Parenting Advice

2:14 AM. Tuesday. I'm wearing Dave's old college sweatpants with a mysterious, crusted-over yogurt stain on the knee, desperately bouncing a screaming three-week-old Leo while whisper-rapping the words to Sir Mix-a-Lot in the dark. You know the exact scene from...

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